2011 was such a strange year for Syrians. I hoped that we can get our freedom by the end of the year like other countries, but I always knew it will take more than ten months to get there.
I am writing this and hoping that I can call 2012 the year of freedom.
So it's 2012 now, and the Arab League sent a group of observers to Syria to report back what they see.
Their job is to monitor the regime and report about how much they followed the plan they agreed upon and was made by the Arab League's initiative.
They came to Homs and we went in a huge demo as I said earlier, but the killing didn't stop not even for one day.
However there were some changes, as the following couple of nights were quiet, no bombing, shelling, or shooting, we were able to sleep tight for the first time in months. But that didn't last long.
Freedom fighters in Khaldieh started a sit-down and they were able to achieve it without being attacked by security forces, and I think the Arab League's observers were the reason of this success.
At some point I actually had hope that I could join the sit-down and perhaps even move it to Freedom Square in Homs's city center.
January 6th, we went in a demo after the Friday prayer and headed to the sit-down and spent the day there. There were more than 100,000 protestors in that square alone.
I had to go home afterwards since I live far away and I had no luggage with me and it was really cold and I needed to bring a sweater and a blanket for the night.
After I went home, the atmosphere changed, the shelling sounds are back, and so is the rapid shooting.
I made some calls and found out I shouldn't go back because the streets were filled with security forces.
January 7th, I tried to join the sit-down in the morning but a security barrier didn't let me go anywhere near Khaldieh, and when they asked me why I needed to go in, I had to lie and tell them that I have to visit my aunt and buy her food. I went home and decided to try again the next morning.
That night was not a good night, the shelling and shooting were back in a much bigger percentage than the previous night. I didn't miss this at all. My house was shaking every time a BANG happened.
January 8th, I heard the news about a Russian fleet arriving to Tartus the previous day, and later that night I watched the Arab League press conference where they finally were clear on their intentions. They said that they can't do anything more than this, and that they won't send the Syrian case to the Security Council.
I never suspected more from the no good Arab League, yet I was truly disappointed. I couldn't sleep thinking about this. What are our options? Why won't anyone do anything to help us? Why are we so different from everybody else?
January 13th, another Friday, another failure if the Arab League observers. More killing and more shooting were happening all over Syria. Some observers are talking and they're being honest, but Mr. Dabi (The head of the observers' mission) is saying the opposite things. Most of the Arab League observers' report was a disaster. It felt like it was written by Bashar Assad himself. Some observers left before the final report and showed that the report won't really contain what they saw. They talked about being watched and blackmailed by the Syrian regime.
The weather in Homs those days was unbelievably cold. Going out in demos wasn't easy. The weather and Assad's forces were against us.
January 18th, I joined a small demo in Ghouta, it had young men, some women, and even small children from the neighborhood. They made a replica of the now famous clock in Homs. It didn't last long and ended without being attacked by Assad's forces.
January 20th, another bloody Friday, and the Arab League's observers mission was over for us.
Many of us decided that it's over since they didn't really do anything. January 27th, it was a very cold and rainy day, and we went in a demo like every Friday, but we finished early because of the weather.
Thirty minutes after the demo, a water spraying vehicle, a dark green security forces' vehicle with 4 machine guns, and twelve walking armed security forces attacked my neighborhood.
The streets when they arrived were completely empty, the stores were all closed, and the demo as I said was over half an hour ago, yet they walked around and started shooting randomly at nothing, and the dark green vehicle made some really loud explosion sounds without harming anything.
They walked along the street and started shooting at every corner. The same thing happened in many places all over Syria, and in some areas they aimed for peaceful protestors when they found them. It was obvious that the regime decided to change the way they deal with things.
Many were killed that day, and the numbers of casualties started growing. I couldn't help but to think about the regime's story, if it was true.
If we were indeed a bunch of armed gangs, how easy would it be to eliminate those 12 security forces' members? The ambush would be so small and quick to get them and their vehicle.
Sending them like this is enough to show anyone what a lie this whole 'armed gangs' really is. If I was a bad man, and I had an armed gang, I wouldn't go around shooting at anti Assad demos. I would rob a damn bank.
For a while now, the casualties' numbers were 20-25 a day, but after that day the numbers changed to 60-65, then they increased to 90's then over 100. January was over and my city was targeted more than ever by Assad's forces, along with other cities near Damascus like Duma, Harasta, Zabadani, Madaya, Erbin, Saqba, and many more. February started bloody, and 90-100 people were getting killed every day now, things didn't look good and we were waiting for the Security Council to approve the new Arab League plan to solve what's happening in Syria. I personally supported that plan but I had a feeling that it won't pass.
February 2nd, this was a quiet day, the shooting and shelling was minimal, and I thought that the regime wants to affect the decision of the Security Council and not kill civilians. Oh how wrong I was.
February 3rd, a Friday that started quietly, huge demos were shown all over Syria, and the demo I was in didn't get attacked or harassed. In fact, I couldn't see any security forces that morning. I went home afterwards, and was discussing the Security Council's gathering, and what will they decided, and if Russia will VETO this time as well.
Around 8 PM, everything changed. Rapid shelling and shooting started and never stopped. The noises I heard were indescribable.
My city suddenly turned into a war zone. News started coming from Khaldieh, and that's when I realized, it wasn't a war, it was a massacre.
The Syrian military was attacking that neighborhood with heavy artillery and many different types of weapons from many places.
There was no Free Syrian Army or any armed people. The military aimed for buildings and hit them directly without a warning. Buildings collapsed and many were killed or injured.
My mom was worried, so I had to lie to her. I told her that they're only trying to scare us without hurting anyone, and I sneaked out.
I saw many people and cars moving around. They were asking for blood. I headed to Amal Hospital to donate some blood where I was chased by Assad's forces.
Not only me, but many were there. We had to run away after the Security forces opened fire. I helped some injured people escape as the security forces were arresting them. I saw many dead bodies that night, over fifty of them. I saw body parts, and lots of blood.
I went home after I did what I could, without being able to go to Khaldieh, and I turned the TV on to see that the numbers were increasing. 100, no 150. 200. 260. 300. 337.
I am not sure of the exact figure, but I was assured that the number was over 220 casualties. All of them were civilians.
I cried that day like I never did before. The shelling and shooting didn't stop until 8 AM. That's a 12 hours attack on civilians. This was the worst night in the history of my city.
February 4th, the attack continues.
More dead people in Khaldieh and other places. The attacks then spread to Baba Amr, Inshaat, Qusoor, and other neighborhoods in Homs, and the Security Council failed to do anything about it.
February 5th, many more were killed in Baba Amr and Inshaat. Shelling and shooting didn't stop. I couldn't sleep for more than two hours that night.
Only five days in, and I already have said that this month is the worst month we've ever seen. Ever. I was hoping for some quiet time after those massacres, but a part of me had doubt that this will happen.
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