Chapter Eight: 2012 feels like 1812.

Two days left in this horrible month, and I can easily say that this is the worst month in the history of the city of Homs.
The worst part is that no matter how bad the situation got, it can always get worse, and that's exactly what happened.

February 28th, I woke up to the unbelievable shelling sounds from all around Homs at 5 AM, it continued all morning and was on a new level as I could clearly hear the sounds of 4-5 missiles being launched every few seconds. Bab Al Sibaa is being targeted more than ever today.

At noon, there were news about Special Forces heading to Homs, and that's when people panicked and went out to get some food and supplies in case we get trapped in our houses again.

The shelling sounds were so loud children were screaming in horror while they're inside their houses.

I went out and took a small tour and saw some new security forces barriers near what used to be the Cultural Center and many other places.

1 PM, water has been turned off from the city

2:30 PM, shelling continues as I'm trying to call my friends and relatives in different areas but phones aren't working properly. Cellphones and internet are still cut off Homs, international calls as well.

3 PM, the attack on Homs is getting worse by the minute now, vicious shelling sounds are all over the city, and rapid shooting everywhere.
I believe this is the worst attack we've seen yet.

4 PM, a blackout happened in Al Waar area and is spreading towards other areas

7 PM, we lost electricity

10 PM, electricity is gone in Inshaat, Hamra, Ghouta, and many other areas.
Darkness has spread all over the city So now in Homs most areas don't have water, electricity, cellphone networks, or internet.

The weather is bad, and food, gas, and diesel are very short. I made some calls (Land lines are still making local calls only) and found out that Homs might not have any water or electricity for days.

At that moment I had one question in my head: Are we still considered humans?

February has been a very rough month on everyone in Homs, the lack of communications in all neighborhoods was very hard on us, and electricity's been coming and going like water, but when this government cut all that's necessary for us to survive, that can only mean that they believe we don't deserve to live anymore.

We're not people to them, we're sheep. No, not sheep, since sheep get water all the time and we don't. To this regime, we're nothing.

I went to bed that night and a storm was in the making outside, and it woke me up around 4 AM when I heard sounds of stuff falling from balconies because of the vicious wind. Like life isn't hard enough already, now the government and Mother Nature are working against us once again. Terrific.

February 29th, still no water, electricity, cellphone network, internet, gas, or dignity. We have some water in storage as well as food and that helped very much, but we had the worst urge to hear the news, so I called a friend in Inshaat and he told me that electricity is back in there, so he read the news for me and told me about 106 casualties, and the attack on Baba Amr.

We used half of the water we have in the past 24 hours, and we started using less and less to save the rest. We only use plastic plates, spoons, and cups so we don't use water to wash the dishes, and we don't even make coffee or tea. We only drink when we're thirsty.

It started snowing outside, and depression was never so deep in our spirits.
Time was going slowly, and the food we keep in the fridge got defrosted and will soon get ruined.

March 1st, my favorite month started white, snow covered everything and like the two previous days, water, electricity, cellphones, internet were all cut off, and that's when we started thinking like cave people.
We took the food from the fridge, and we gathered snow in our balcony and put all the food in there so it can last longer.

Those who used all the water they have started collecting and melting snow. I never thought this might happen in the 21st century.

Assad and his gang belong to the dark ages, just like Mubarak, Gaddafi, and all dictators.

Baba Amr fell in the hands of Assad forces after 27 days of shelling, bombing, and shooting. As sad as this news was, I wondered if this will bring some peace to the city as people are tired of this siege that has been going on since the beginning of February. Food, medicine, and supplies are short everywhere.

My personal news: I woke up with a horrible ear pain and I couldn't get a hold of any doctors in my city, so I took some pain killers but they didn't do me any good. I'm a bit worried but there's nothing I can do as long as I'm in Homs. The siege was by both, Assad's forces and snow.

Around 2 PM, we got electricity back after 43 hours but we still got no water.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to live with limited water?

3:30 PM, after two days of nearly complete quietness in my neighborhood, the sounds of nearby shelling are back
The shelling sounds continued all night but they weren't as close or as frequent as they were back in February, I guess Baba Amr took the most of their fury.

March 2nd, electricity seemed so useless with the absence of water, it's been three days now and we're running out of it, only 150 liters left from the 1000 liters we had, we used 850 liters since the water was cut off and what's left cannot serve for more than a day at best.
What do humans do without water? They die.

Cellphones and internet aren't working for the 26th day, and I'm trying to find ways to get online but can't find any. I tried to connect through another city but the lines gave me a busy signal, then I tried to get an international Dial Up line, but all international calls have been disabled for more than a week now.

I called a friend of mine in Damascus and asked him to search for a method for me to get online and am still waiting for his reply.

Three demos happened in my neighborhood today, none of them were big and I didn't join any. My ear is still hurting me, but I wore a wool hat, and covered myself up well and went out for a couple of minutes. It was very cold outside, and very dark.

The streets were empty and the sounds of shelling could be heard every few seconds coming from afar, and shooting from nearby as well. I heard someone calling me from the darkness and couldn't see who it was, they told me not to be scares, but I wasn't anyway.

I walked towards the voice and found a member of the security forces, he was wearing his uniform and holding his rifle and standing behind a wall. He asked me what I wanted and why I was there, and then he told me not to walk in that area at night and to be careful. He was nice to me and he even offered me some water if I didn't have any at home. I asked him what he thinks will happen next, he hesitated to answer, but it was obvious what he was trying to say. He mumbled something about Libya and Egypt, and that was enough. He's a good guy, but he was too scared to leave his barrier and join the free army. I asked him if he needed a place to stay in and I was hinting that I can help him leave Assad forces, but he didn't answer. I walked away from him without saying another word. I wish I could protect him, but I can't even protect myself. Free Syrian Army is made of good people, but they're not well funded, or organized. They're losing ground in Baba Amr like they did in Zabadani earlier this year, and there's nothing I can do to help.

March 3rd, fourth day without a drop of fresh water. Most people don't have drinking water anymore and are buying what they can find. We do have water to drink for the next two or three days, but as you know that's not the only water we, humans, need. I haven't taken a shower in four days. I haven't made a teapot in four days. Hell, I haven't flushed the toilet properly in four days.

Thousands have been killed, neighborhoods have been destroyed, babies have been slaughtered, tens of thousands have been arrested, hundreds have been tortured, and cities have been attacked with heavy artillery, no cellphones, no internet, no international calls, no salaries, no electricity, and no water. All this because we demanded freedom. Is freedom worth all this? My answer is yes. Yes. Now more than ever.

The night was extremely quiet and that helped me get a good night of sleep for the first time in days.

March 4th, Fifth day without fresh water. My best friend called me and told me that his neighborhood has water and asked me if I wanted any, so I took some empty containers and went to get water. 45 liters of water is better than nothing.

While I was waiting for the containers to be filled I felt like I am in one of those poor African villages we see on TV, where people walk miles to get fresh water and carry it on their heads, except here it's cold, and I put the water containers in the car instead of on the top of my head and drove. So yeah, our situation is still a bit better than them, since we're not starving yet, but hey, we'll get there sooner than later. I drove around after I got the water and saw some security barriers but didn't get close to any of them, and I saw a huge line of cars waiting to get some fuel, security forces were checking their IDs and not giving them all the fuel they want.

I got home and phone calls about water coming to different areas kept on coming, good for them, we're still waiting. We still need water because all of the water we have left can only be enough for drinking and nothing else. In the afternoon, we finally got water (using one of those blue water motor things), hallelujah.

Five full days without water, now let's wash the dishes, take a shower, and maybe cook something. We spent the past five days eating canned food with plastic spoons. No vegetables since we couldn't wash them and no cooking since we didn't want to get the cookers dirty.

We get to have real food and fresh water today, oh how blessed we are, thanks to our great government. Of course I'm being sarcastic here.

The joy of getting fresh water didn't last long as it was cut off again less than three hours after they turned it on, but those hours were enough for my family for showering, doing the laundry, and washing the huge pile of dirty dishes and spoons that has been waiting in the sink for five days, we also filled enough water for five or six days, just in case.

After five days of waiting we got two and a half hours of water, I honestly didn't expect more, because having water is a privilege in Homs these days, and electricity is luxury, giving us more water would spoil us.

Please excuse my constant sarcastic remarks, I am just trying to show how pathetic life in Homs really is. I saw people collecting rain water to use in the past five days, and worse, I heard of people saving the water they used in their showers, laundry, and dish washing and using it in their toilets since they couldn't flush using the water they saved for drinking.

Most houses in most neighborhoods in Homs smelled like poo for the last couple of days since people couldn't flush their toilets.
I'm very glad that my family is made of three adults only. Having large numbers of people or having kids is a serious problem in such situations.

The responsibility is unbearable, to take care of your family, to provide water, food, and supplies. Especially since most of us don't work or make money anymore.

March 5th, we got more fresh water and electricity is still working, but cellphones and internet aren't.
The last time I checked my email or tweeted was on February 5th, exactly a month ago, and we still don't have international calls, but since we can still make local calls, we found a way to contact our relatives outside the country.
We call someone in Damascus or Aleppo and they call the relatives outside via Skype and leave the PC and phone's speakers on. It's not a good quality call but it's better than nothing. Some people figured out a way to get dial up connection in Homs but it didn:t work for me.

My relatives went to Inshaat and checked their house that have been occupied since early February, they did go once before but they couldn't stay long or do anything since there was a tank and a bunch of security forces waiting for them to leave, they went today and did some cleaning and they took some pictures and videos before they cleaned anything.
The amount of garbage they found inside their house in unbelievable, and they noticed a few things they didn't notice before, more things went missing from the house, electric devices and valuable decorations.
They came by and told us what they saw but I couldn't get a copy of the videos yet. Security barrier in Inshaat didn't let any men in since the morning, they only let women get inside, but they changed that after a couple of hours.

March 7th, a relative of mine was kidnapped in Homs and the kidnappers asked for a security forces member who has been caught by the free Syrian army in return. With this man, the number of the people I somewhat know and have been kidnapped became 13. Only four of them are back so far. We get news about more people getting kidnapped every day and the authorities won't do anything about it since their families are the ones who are doing all the kidnapping.
Shooting could be heard every few hours but I haven't heard any shelling in a while.

March 11th, cellphones worked for about two hours and got disconnected again. Shelling sounds have been back for a few days from three or four different areas in Homs. Red Crescent vehicles have been delivering food and supplies to some neighborhoods and people in my area started collecting donations for those who came from Baba Amr and other places.

March 12, shelling sounds gets louder in the early morning hours then news about two massacres in my city. What was confirmed to me is this: Tens of bodies were found in two areas in Homs, they were all women and children, and they were viciously raped then killed. Some of them were slaughtered, and some were burned alive, and the rest got tortured and killed by breaking their necks after breaking their arms or legs.
Security Council still can't even condemn what's happening in Syria because of Russia, and the rest of the world is watching. The war on terrorism stops at the Syrian border and Assad's terrorist forces are supported with weapons and money from Russia and Iran.

I wonder what will Russia do when this blows up in its face like what happened with the USA after they helped terrorists in Afghanistan against the Soviets.

I went out and toured some areas of the city and saw some cars that have been shot at and smashed by tanks. Most cars in Inshaat got smashed by Tanks or blown off by Assad forces in February. I took some photos of some of the cars I saw and will publish them when I get internet connection.
Speaking of it, many people called me and told me that their ADSL and Dial Up are working since yesterday after more than a month of getting cut off the entire city. My 3G isn't working and I couldn't find any open internet cafe's anywhere near my house so I will wait more. I didn�t go to a friend's house to get online because it's not worth risking my life for.

I saw Kofi Annan shaking Bashar Assad's hand in Damascus while Assad's forces killing us in Homs and wondered how could Kofi shake his hand when it's covered with innocent blood? How could he smile while talking to him when his forces are raping our women and torturing our children?

Chapter Seven: Is there anybody out there?

February 6th, I woke up early because of the sounds of the now usual bombing, shelling, and shooting.
I picked up my cellphone but it didn't work. I tried my over phone, it didn't work either. I checked my dad's phone which works on a different network, still nothing.
My mom told me that the land line is dead as well. Okay' Something's up.

A few hours later, the sounds of shelling and shooting were getting closer and closer.

Many people I know left their houses in Inshaat and Hamra and went someplace else. At 11:30 AM, the phone rang, and that's how I knew that the land line is back working, but the cellphones were still dead.

I went out and all stores were closed, all streets were empty, and people were hiding. I didn't see or hear an ambulance anywhere.

1 PM, the shelling sounds were so clear I was actually worried that our house might get hit, so we evacuated the rooms with a street view.

3 PM: News from Inshaat, Assad's forces broke into the evacuated houses and occupied them including the houses of the people I know. Some buildings near Qibaa mosque have been hit badly.

6 PM: After calling the occupied house's phone several times (and getting a busy signal which means the security forces' members were making phone calls) they actually picked up and talked to us. The owner of the house asked them: "How are things?" the speaking soldier replied with: "Shitty".

If people didn't leave their homes, we could've read some horrifying numbers of casualties from Baba Amr and Inshaat.

The rest of the night was horrible, very close shooting and shelling, and our house was shaking badly especially after 3 AM.

February 7th, still no cellphones or internet, add to that, no electricity. Lavrov, the head of the Russian diplomacy, is in Damascus while Homs is being attacked viciously with.. Russian weapons.

I left the house and walked in the neighborhood after things started to quiet down a bit, and I saw a demonstration happening. It was so cold, so dangerous, yet the demo continued.
How brave are those young men I saw.

The owner of the occupied house made some calls trying to get the soldiers and security forces out of his house, but the answer was: "These aren't soldiers or security forces, these are terrorists. Syrian soldiers and security forces would never occupy a house".
The owner replied with: "I am 100% sure that they are security forces and I want them out".

After some more calls, they told him to talk to a man in charge of things like this in Homs, but that man said that he isn't going to leave his house and go help with this situation as he's afraid of driving in Inshaat.

4 PM: The shelling and shooting sounds has stopped, and a second demo was in the making.

6 PM: A third demo. Wow. Too bad there is no internet connection to go live on TV.

6:30 PM: News from the owner of the occupied house owner: Dunia TV is in Inshaat, music is being played, and many strangers showed up and started dancing in front of the occupied houses and thanking the military for "freeing the area from the terrorists".

I called people who live in that area and they told me they don't know anyone of the dancing people or how they got there. So now the mystery of the people thanking the military on Dunia TV finally made sense.
They occupy the area after the people leave to save their lives, then the security forces tell Dunia TV which brings the Pro Assad people to do this charade.

6:44 PM: My friend called me from another part of Inshaat. He said that they had no electricity all day today, and that they couldn't leave the house for six days. They're running low on food and supplies but they can manage.
I told him the news that he missed about the Arab Gulf countries shutting down their embassies in Syria and kicking the Syrian ambassadors out, and that Turkey has a plan to help with Syria, and finally that Assad told Lavrov about the new constitution that his people write, and that's when my friend interrupted me laughing and he said: "Who cares?". True. Who cares indeed.

February 8th, waking up to the shelling and shooting sounds has become normal by now, and these sounds didn't stop until noon. I went out to buy some bread but I couldn't find any.

On my way home, I joined a demonstration near my house, and I think I was the oldest one in it, as most of the protestors were 16-22. It ended peacefully as the security forces had their hands full in other neighborhoods like Baba Amr and Inshaat.
Still no internet or cellphones. Food shortage kicks in.

9 PM: News from Inshaat that Assad forces evacuated many of the houses they occupied two days ago, someone visited the house I previously talked about and was too shocked to describe what he saw. He said that they took everything light or expensive and ruined what's left. He said he can't put words into what he saw but that it was horrible. I will try to go tomorrow and check it myself, if I can.

The rest of the night was somewhat quiet in my neighborhood, but the shelling and shooting continued in many other places.
There's nothing I can do to help. That fact is eating me up inside.

February 9th, I woke up to the sounds of the daily shelling, bombing, and shooting. When will this end? I saw that trucks of food (Bread, vegetables, fruits, eggs..) have arrived to the stores in my area, so I went out with my father to buy some since we didn't have much left. I made a small tour around Hamra, Ghouta, and Malaab, and I saw many people heading to the opened stores to buy groceries like I was.

The stores were almost empty and closed before 2 PM. I couldn't find many things I needed like meat, chicken, rice, etc. I however got potatoes and eggs. Better than nothing. One thought came to my mind and stuck there: Many of my friends and relatives can't get any type of food.

I called a friend in Inshaat and he told me that electricity was still off for the third day in a raw, and that they have no vegetables or bread left. He tried to go out to find some food but he found a missile launcher within 100 meters of his place, so he went back without getting anything. His neighbors however had some extra bread which they shared. Good people still exist everywhere, and that's how we're surviving.

On my way home, I heard a demo going, but I couldn't join since I had a handful of stuff, so I went home and stayed there. The cellphone networks were still down, along with any kind of internet connection. I tried Dial Up, ADSL, 3G, and GPRS.

Nothing is working for the fourth day, yet news can be carried out since land lines were working in many areas, but the only news I heard were bad news. More than 100 were killed in my city and it's only 6 PM. Tomorrow's Friday. If there were demos in Homs, that can only mean one thing: Bashar Assad failed, again. In the past week, he has tried everything he's got.

No connection, no electricity, no food, no services, and an unbelievably vicious attack on the city. He killed hundreds a day, he used tanks, missiles, machine guns, and bombs.
He's got nothing else to do. If a big demo happens tomorrow, Assad should declare his defeat and hang himself. He would do so if he had even one bit of decency in him, but we all know by now that he doesn't have that. Let's wait for tomorrow and see what's gonna happen in my city, or shall I say, in what's left of my city.

February 10th - 14th: The sounds of shelling and shooting almost never stops, cellphones worked for an hour or so on the 13th, still no internet, and electricity comes and goes.
Two demonstrations joined in and made a decent one in Ghouta on February 10th despite the bad weather and the shelling sounds coming from not far away, but it ended at 1:35 PM after Assad forces opened fire on us. Later that night I saw four Red Crescent vehicles including an ambulance, along with a food truck possibly heading to Khaldieh.

News from Baba Amr is horrible as most buildings were hit by Assad forces and hundreds were killed, entire families.

Inshaat isn't better as Assad forces evacuated most of the houses there and started robbing them clean. After they took what they can, they burnt the rest. I still cannot go there to take videos or photos because Assad forces are still there. They live in the houses before they take and ruin everything.

Ghouta and Hamra are better, some shops are open and there is bread and food, and even electricity. The shelling gets close sometimes and the buildings start shaking, but nothing was hit directly as far as I know.
Assad forces however do shoot from time to time at cars and houses, leaving broken glass and some destruction on their way. Garbage has become a serious health issue as the garbage men didn't work in weeks and the garbage spread all over the streets and sidewalks. A group of young men did a very selfless and nice gesture on the 14th when they took care of the garbage in my neighborhood. They collected them all and took them someplace else.
Khaldieh is still under attack, but I couldn't get too close to it because of the security forces barriers.

February 15th, our revolution is 11 months old today, and the vicious attack on Homs continued on its 11th day. Idleb and Hama aren't much better, Zabadani as well. The regime is doing what he's done in Homs all over Syria.

A new constitution is ready and a plebiscite should take place in 11 days. How silly is this play they're acting? How are we supposed to go vote or even care about a new constitution when we can barely survive? Maybe my city and the cities in which the revolution ignited aren't a part of Syria anymore. God damn you Assad.

A huge black smoke cloud spread all over the sky of Homs today, for the third time since our movement began. The regime is wasting the diesel and gas which we, the people, desperately need. The prices of diesel and gas -when they're found- are through the roof.

A thought sneaked into my head as I'm typing. Why am I still typing? Will I get the chance to publish this? Will I get an internet connection any time soon? Will I survive till then?

February 16th, looks like we made it through the night. Last night was so horrid I honestly thought it was going to be my last.

There was a rain storm, and the explosion sounds got mixed with thunder and thunderbolts and I couldn't tell which is which for a while. I left my bed in panic after a very scary sound, but then I went back in. I realized that whatever will happen, will happen. No matter where I was. I went back in bed, closed my eyes, and prepared myself mentally that I won't survive that night. I wasn't afraid after that. The shelling continued all night and until noon, but the storm passed when morning came. We survived to live another day.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is thinking this way in Homs.

The United Nations approved a resolution against the Syrian regime, 137 countries agreed, 12 voted against. Reading the names of the countries who voted against the resolution gave me endless pleasure. Cuba, Iran, North Korea, Belarus, Venezuela, China, and other countries ruled by dictators, with the addition of Russia.
It's good to see Russia putting itself in this list, the list of shame, the list of dictatorships.

The Syrian regime has only 11 friends left in the world, and most of them if not all of them are made of assholes and dictators like Assad himself.
I said before that I wish to see a Southern America Spring, and an Asian Spring, the people of those 11 countries, and some more, should move soon and see the light of freedom. Freedom for all.

February 17th, the morning of this day was an extension to last night, an extra dose of shelling and pouring rain didn't stop a demo from happening. It obviously didn't last long and couldn't be streamed live since we still have no internet connection since the 6th.
I couldn't join this demo since I've got the flu and am staying in bed most of the time.

Electricity was cut off and back on a couple of times today, and still no cellphone coverage. I look back at the past two weeks and think, what the world prevented in Benghazi Libya is now happening in Homs Syria, and the world didn't do anything about it. Gaddafi moved his army to occupy the capital of the Libyan revolution but was stopped by the Security Council, they all worked before he reached Benghazi and saved thousands of lives there, but they let Assad's forces and heavy artillery arrive to Homs and destroy many neighborhoods in the city.
They say that things are different, the only thing that's different is the volume of oil. If Syria had enough oil, the world wouldn't just watch Syrians get killed. That's how I see it.

Going through the night, the shelling sounds decreased but thunder got louder, and around 9 PM, it started raining hailstones, the biggest ones I've ever seen, a while after came the freezing wind and snow, when midnight came I could barely hear any shooting coming from afar, I'm not sure if it stopped completely because I couldn't tell since thunder got so loud and frequent. I went out to the balcony and a snowstorm was getting closer.
After midnight, all I could hear or see outside was the snowstorm, it covered everything else, and snow kept coming and freezing wind as well.

Thunder was very scary, not that I get scared from it usually, but since we've been experiencing the sounds of shelling and bombing for months now and that became the only thing we think of when hearing such loud noises. I jumped off my bed a couple of times thinking we're being bombed or something.

Fear of thunder, add that to the list of things I should sue Bashar Assad over.
What a huge list this has become. It has everything, from genocide, destruction of cities, kidnapping, torture, stealing billions, to stuff like losing my phone's extra battery while running away from a security force vehicle after a demo and the lack of chicken in my fridge.

February 18th, freezing wind, rain and snow, shooting sounds from afar, no shelling in my neighborhood or anywhere near it since last night, my heart and prayers are with those who had to leave their homes in such weather, and there are many of them.

Bad news kept coming from Baba Amr and Inshaat. Baba Amr, or what's left of it, is still being bombed all day, every day. How can people who are still there survive is beyond me. God help them, God help us all.

I saw footage from Damascus earlier today, from Mazzeh highway to be exact, I recognized that area immediately as it's my favorite highway in Syria, so I called someone I know who lives in there, and he confirmed that thousands went in a big demo for the third day in a raw.
Finally, the rest of Damascus is joining in. Hello! Aleppo! Is there anybody out there?

February 19th, it's a quiet day in my neighborhood, people in the streets shopping. After what happened in Khaldieh earlier this month, we now are afraid of such quiet days cause they usually get followed by horrible ones. Still no internet or cellphone networks.

February 20th, I woke up at 6 AM, went to get some bread while hearing the noises from afar, shelling is back but it isn't very close to us, from Baba Amr and Inshaat I believe.
There were more than 120 men and women waiting in line to get bread, but that's not unusual anymore. I got some bread and went home, it was 8 AM. Yes, It took me an hour and a half to get some bread. Anyway, it's freezing cold and somewhat quiet around my neighborhood still, so I decided to take a tour around the city and check things out.

I dressed heavily, put my earphones on with some rock music, tried to forget the fact that Homs is filled with tanks and snipers, and started the tour.

I went to the old clock square, some stores were open and people were shopping there too, only basic stuff could be found. I stopped at a place where I found something interesting. Some old gadgets made their way back into today's market, stuff that my grandfather used to own and his father before him. What I found was the good old oil light thing.

You know the thing that has a long bulb and a glass oil container under it, with a wick that can be lit with a match to get light! I don't know what it's called but I know that I haven't seen one in more than 20 years. People are adjusting to the lack of electricity. Oh boy.

Of course, that area around the Old Clock's square is filled with security forces, many vehicles and sand bags, and even sand barrels. Some of the streets were closed with cement barriers. I continued my tour but didn't go towards Khaldieh, instead I went to Old Homs, Hamidyeh and Bustan Al Diwan, and things were quiet there too. I then went to Freedom Square which had security forces around it and I couldn't find any open store in that area at that hour.

I then went to Ghouta then Hamra were everything was quiet and no sign of security forces. I didn't go into Inshaat because I was warned that security forces were still all over it, they're still living in the houses they emptied and are still stealing and destroying everything they find. Baba Amr is far from me and the war there didn't stop since February 6th. I went home after this and since there was still no internet or cellphone networks working, I knew that the war on my city isn't over yet, and that this is just a temporary situation, and I was correct as when night came, everything changed. The shelling is back and the shooting as well.

Later that night, a bunch of Assad forces came to my neighborhood around 2 AM and started shooting randomly, and I assure you that the streets were empty. I was awake and saw the whole thing.
The neighborhood was dead quiet, the streets were completely empty and it was very cold and dark outside, that's when they came.
Their vehicle didn't make the loud explosion noises it usually does, they stopped in the middle of the street and started shooting in the air and into other streets, they stayed for a few minutes then left.

I continued my night like this never happened. I made a cup of tea and watched the news. It seems like I too am used to this situation. I didn:t see this one coming.

February 21st, this morning wasn't like the two mornings before it. Heavy shelling and massive explosions were happening every 15 seconds or so. The sounds were so heavy and recurrent like I've never witnessed before.

I went out and walked around but nothing was happening in my neighborhood and it was completely empty.
I went back to bed since it was cold but I didn't sleep because of the horrible sounds outside. I got up and saw the news, 24 were killed while I was in bed. When will this end?

I went out again, and I saw a paper on a wall, I read it and found out that it was an announcement of the death of three children.

I couldn't stop my tears when I saw this. Three children were killed at once. How long will this babies' killer remain president?

I went home and I was so depressed to do anything. I crawled back in bed and didn't do a thing for the rest of the day.

Night came and the unbelievable sounds started. I could hear the missiles being launched and hitting Baba Amr every couple of seconds. I called someone in Inshaat but could barely hear his voice because the shelling sounds were way too loud there. What a horrible night by all means.

106 were killed today in Syria and about half of them were in Homs.

February 22nd, I woke up at 5:30 AM to be first in line to get bread, but as I arrived to the bakery there were more than 25 people in front of me. I will try to get up at 5 AM tomorrow knowing that the bakery won't open until 7, but I would happily go two hours earlier and avoid the crowds and the fights when some jackass comes and doesn't stand in line, especially current and ex-soldiers who have privileges everywhere in Syria.
They could come anytime, not wait in line, and then take double the amount that is allowed for civilians. On my way to the bakery, I of course heard so many explosions coming from Baba Amr and other areas in the city.
I went back home and the shelling sounds didn't stop not for one minute. I decided to go visit a neighborhood I didn't visit in a while, Khaldieh.
It's not easy to get in without being spotted by Assad forces. I saw a couple of guys there and they sneaked me in. I walked around and saw the garbage in the streets, mountains of garbage. I then went to a park called Ello and found a couple of stores opened. I then sneaked back towards the old clock square which is always filled with Assad's security forces, then towards Freedom Square and Dablan.

No stores were opened there. Even banks were closed, and a friend told me that banks only open till noon now and that I was a couple of minutes late. I went to Kurnich Street, and while I was approaching a traffic light, I saw something from a far, it was just lying on the street, a man's dead body.
I didn't get any closer. The body was near a store called Al Baik chicken. I walked across the street and went into another street to avoid being spotted by the sniper who killed him.
Just moments later, hell broke loose from that spot. I went back a tad and looked from a far and saw a couple of unarmed civilians who tried to reach the body but were interrupted by a flood of gunshots coming from god knows where. They went back and weren't harmed and the dead body stayed there. I could tell that the body was a civilian's by the clothes the man was wearing, and there were no weapons anywhere near him, so he was just an unarmed civilian passing by when a bullet got him.
I've heard this story so many times before and it makes sense. I didn't see what happened, I am just assuming.

I headed home after that, and a friend came by. He said that he was stuck in his house in Inshaat for the past 19 days.
He went out today after they let him (They is for Assad's Security forces) and he was buying supplies and decided to come see me, and since there is no cellphone network working, he had to just show up. It was good seeing him.

Right after he left, and at exactly 2 PM, the explosion sounds increased dramatically. I was watching the news at the time, where I saw the news about the death of an American and French journalist in Baba Amr. They were in a house when missiles hit that building and killed them with a couple of Syrians. Three more journalists were injured as well, and all of them were from Europe.
They came to cover the news and ended up being the news. It's really sad when we lose brave people like these. RIP my friends.

2:45 PM, Assad forces came into my neighborhood and opened fire, I'm not sure if they were aiming for anything this time as there were people in the streets. I don't know if anybody got hit. They left after 10 minutes and everything quieted down.

February 23rd, after standing an hour and a half in the freezing cold weather, I got my bread and headed home, and before I arrived there I was interrupted by three security forces vehicles.
They stopped me and asked me what I was doing and where I'm heading, then they asked for my ID which I had in my wallet, but I told them I left it at home and told them that my house isn't far and they could come see it, but they told me to go and they drove away and I haven't seen those vehicles after this.

I got home and of course the shelling sounds were coming from three different areas in Homs, but the shooting nearby didn't start until around 11 AM.

At noon, a bunch of Assad security forces attacked my neighborhood and started shooting randomly and that's when all the stores closed down and the streets turned empty.
I watched the news and they said that communications got cut off Homs, and it sounded like they only were cut today while we didn't have any type of internet connection or cellphone network for eighteen days now, and the land lines can't make or receive international calls for four days.

Around 4 PM, another attack occurred but no one was hurt as far as I saw since the streets were already empty. Standing in the freezing weather earlier got to me and I had to spend the rest of the night in bed with serious stomachache.

February 24th: 5:30 in the morning, no electricity, no water, and of course no cellphones or internet. The electricity and water are back by 9 AM, and so is the shooting.

A bunch of Assad security forces' members came with a couple of vehicles and started shooting randomly in my neighborhood for a while then they moved on to another neighborhood.
About 90 minutes before the prayer, the shooting and explosion noises increased 60% than earlier that day, and they continued till after the prayer.
Many couldn't get out of their houses and therefore there was no demo where I live, but that didn't stop the security forces from continuing their shooting all around.

4 PM, I was waiting for what will the "Friends of Syria" meeting do in Tunisia, and that's when a larger group of security forces came back to my neighborhood and started shooting like maniacs at anything they see. People ran and hid behind walls but the shooting didn't stop until 4:30 PM.

Three minutes later I saw Red Cross vehicles going fast, which means there are casualties in my neighborhood today. God help those innocent people.

4:40 PM, I had to turn the TV's volume all the way up so I can hear what they're saying because the shooting outside is so close, loud, heavy, and continuous.

8:30 PM, Assad's security forces finally left the area after killing many people. Explosion noises from afar can still be heard, Jorat Al Shaiyah and Qarabis neighborhoods were targeted now.

11 PM, news about Assad's security forces evacuating those who didn't leave their houses earlier in some streets of Inshaat at gunpoint, only to rob the houses. They brought trucks with them and stole everything in the houses. They even frisked the owners and stole what they found on them before they let them go.

February 25th, many people confirmed to me that their IDs have been taken by security forces and they were told to collect them on Sunday from security forces stations. The only logic explanation for this is that they'll force those people to vote in favor of the new constitution so it can be approved in spite of the fact that we're against it.

Red Cross couldn't go into Baba Amr like they did on the 24th and the sounds of shelling from that area are back and are increasing every hour. The house of one of my friends in Inshaat got hit by a missile, they weren't harmed but most of the house was destroyed.

They evacuated it immediately leaving everything behind. Al Amin hospital was targeted with two missiles after Red Cross brought the injured from Baba Amr there the day before, but the hospital wasn't directly hit.
The first missile hit a space near the hospital which will be joined to it soon, and the other one hit a nearby furniture store. News talked about 107 casualties all over Syria.

February 26th. This is the day of the plebiscite for the new constitution. Most people decided to stay at home so the security forces won't force them to vote to approve it, and there were no voting points anywhere in the neighborhoods I know in Homs anyway.

The sounds of shelling on Baba Amr and Inshaat started early in the morning and increased quickly. I could hear an explosion every single second at times. I called a friend from Inshaat and I heard the sounds of three or four missiles being launched at once every few seconds.
Those who are still in Inshaat are stuck again and can't go out to buy food or anything else, as for me, I went out but didn't get close to any of the Assad's security forces' barriers. I found some open stores but they didn't have any fresh vegetables, fruit, or meat. I asked around and was told that the food trucks weren't allowed to enter my neighborhood today. It's okay though, because we're used to that by now. There is a serious gas shortage in my neighborhood now as the government didn't send any since January.

Some could get gas from other neighborhoods with good prices but the rest had to pay double or even triple the new price.

Someone I know paid 1200 SP for a gas tank instead of 425 SP. As for us, we have enough gas for another month or two.

4 PM, the sounds of shelling have become unbearable. It's unreal how frequent they've become. Shelling continued into the night but my neighborhood was quiet for the rest of the day.

February 27th, I woke up to no electricity, water, and of course still no cellphones or internet. Shelling sounds from afar are still going and nearby shooting every now and then. News from some of Homs's old neighborhoods like Hamidiyeh (where my family originally comes from) is not good at all.

Hamidiyeh is as I said one of Homs's oldest neighborhoods, and has the majority of the Christian community in Homs, as it has many churches and some of them are historical, and Muslims have been living in that neighborhood next to Christians for centuries. That neighborhood was freed a while back and people were having a good and safe life, until yesterday. Assad's forces attacked it yesterday and the attack continued today in a much worse way. They've been shelling and bombing that area all morning. I got confirmed news from my relatives there that many missiles have hit random targets, like meat shops and pharmacies.

Many evacuated that area since yesterday and no one can enter some parts of it as the shooting has been going on since early morning. News about a new horrible massacre from Baba Amr, more than 60 young men were slaughtered by security forces while trying to leave the area and their families have been kidnapped, and the shelling increased later that night. Why won't February end already!

Chapter Six: Welcome to Repressionsville.

2011 was such a strange year for Syrians. I hoped that we can get our freedom by the end of the year like other countries, but I always knew it will take more than ten months to get there.

I am writing this and hoping that I can call 2012 the year of freedom.

So it's 2012 now, and the Arab League sent a group of observers to Syria to report back what they see.
Their job is to monitor the regime and report about how much they followed the plan they agreed upon and was made by the Arab League's initiative.

They came to Homs and we went in a huge demo as I said earlier, but the killing didn't stop not even for one day.
However there were some changes, as the following couple of nights were quiet, no bombing, shelling, or shooting, we were able to sleep tight for the first time in months. But that didn't last long.

Freedom fighters in Khaldieh started a sit-down and they were able to achieve it without being attacked by security forces, and I think the Arab League's observers were the reason of this success.
At some point I actually had hope that I could join the sit-down and perhaps even move it to Freedom Square in Homs's city center.

January 6th, we went in a demo after the Friday prayer and headed to the sit-down and spent the day there. There were more than 100,000 protestors in that square alone.
I had to go home afterwards since I live far away and I had no luggage with me and it was really cold and I needed to bring a sweater and a blanket for the night.
After I went home, the atmosphere changed, the shelling sounds are back, and so is the rapid shooting.
I made some calls and found out I shouldn't go back because the streets were filled with security forces.

January 7th, I tried to join the sit-down in the morning but a security barrier didn't let me go anywhere near Khaldieh, and when they asked me why I needed to go in, I had to lie and tell them that I have to visit my aunt and buy her food. I went home and decided to try again the next morning.

That night was not a good night, the shelling and shooting were back in a much bigger percentage than the previous night. I didn't miss this at all. My house was shaking every time a BANG happened.

January 8th, I heard the news about a Russian fleet arriving to Tartus the previous day, and later that night I watched the Arab League press conference where they finally were clear on their intentions. They said that they can't do anything more than this, and that they won't send the Syrian case to the Security Council.

I never suspected more from the no good Arab League, yet I was truly disappointed. I couldn't sleep thinking about this. What are our options? Why won't anyone do anything to help us? Why are we so different from everybody else?

January 13th, another Friday, another failure if the Arab League observers. More killing and more shooting were happening all over Syria. Some observers are talking and they're being honest, but Mr. Dabi (The head of the observers' mission) is saying the opposite things. Most of the Arab League observers' report was a disaster. It felt like it was written by Bashar Assad himself. Some observers left before the final report and showed that the report won't really contain what they saw. They talked about being watched and blackmailed by the Syrian regime.

The weather in Homs those days was unbelievably cold. Going out in demos wasn't easy. The weather and Assad's forces were against us.

January 18th, I joined a small demo in Ghouta, it had young men, some women, and even small children from the neighborhood. They made a replica of the now famous clock in Homs. It didn't last long and ended without being attacked by Assad's forces.

January 20th, another bloody Friday, and the Arab League's observers mission was over for us.

Many of us decided that it's over since they didn't really do anything. January 27th, it was a very cold and rainy day, and we went in a demo like every Friday, but we finished early because of the weather.

Thirty minutes after the demo, a water spraying vehicle, a dark green security forces' vehicle with 4 machine guns, and twelve walking armed security forces attacked my neighborhood.
The streets when they arrived were completely empty, the stores were all closed, and the demo as I said was over half an hour ago, yet they walked around and started shooting randomly at nothing, and the dark green vehicle made some really loud explosion sounds without harming anything.
They walked along the street and started shooting at every corner. The same thing happened in many places all over Syria, and in some areas they aimed for peaceful protestors when they found them. It was obvious that the regime decided to change the way they deal with things.

Many were killed that day, and the numbers of casualties started growing. I couldn't help but to think about the regime's story, if it was true.

If we were indeed a bunch of armed gangs, how easy would it be to eliminate those 12 security forces' members? The ambush would be so small and quick to get them and their vehicle.

Sending them like this is enough to show anyone what a lie this whole 'armed gangs' really is. If I was a bad man, and I had an armed gang, I wouldn't go around shooting at anti Assad demos. I would rob a damn bank.

For a while now, the casualties' numbers were 20-25 a day, but after that day the numbers changed to 60-65, then they increased to 90's then over 100. January was over and my city was targeted more than ever by Assad's forces, along with other cities near Damascus like Duma, Harasta, Zabadani, Madaya, Erbin, Saqba, and many more. February started bloody, and 90-100 people were getting killed every day now, things didn't look good and we were waiting for the Security Council to approve the new Arab League plan to solve what's happening in Syria. I personally supported that plan but I had a feeling that it won't pass.

February 2nd, this was a quiet day, the shooting and shelling was minimal, and I thought that the regime wants to affect the decision of the Security Council and not kill civilians. Oh how wrong I was.

February 3rd, a Friday that started quietly, huge demos were shown all over Syria, and the demo I was in didn't get attacked or harassed. In fact, I couldn't see any security forces that morning. I went home afterwards, and was discussing the Security Council's gathering, and what will they decided, and if Russia will VETO this time as well.

Around 8 PM, everything changed. Rapid shelling and shooting started and never stopped. The noises I heard were indescribable.

My city suddenly turned into a war zone. News started coming from Khaldieh, and that's when I realized, it wasn't a war, it was a massacre.

The Syrian military was attacking that neighborhood with heavy artillery and many different types of weapons from many places.

There was no Free Syrian Army or any armed people. The military aimed for buildings and hit them directly without a warning. Buildings collapsed and many were killed or injured.

My mom was worried, so I had to lie to her. I told her that they're only trying to scare us without hurting anyone, and I sneaked out.

I saw many people and cars moving around. They were asking for blood. I headed to Amal Hospital to donate some blood where I was chased by Assad's forces.

Not only me, but many were there. We had to run away after the Security forces opened fire. I helped some injured people escape as the security forces were arresting them. I saw many dead bodies that night, over fifty of them. I saw body parts, and lots of blood.

I went home after I did what I could, without being able to go to Khaldieh, and I turned the TV on to see that the numbers were increasing. 100, no 150. 200. 260. 300. 337.

I am not sure of the exact figure, but I was assured that the number was over 220 casualties. All of them were civilians.

I cried that day like I never did before. The shelling and shooting didn't stop until 8 AM. That's a 12 hours attack on civilians. This was the worst night in the history of my city.

February 4th, the attack continues.
More dead people in Khaldieh and other places. The attacks then spread to Baba Amr, Inshaat, Qusoor, and other neighborhoods in Homs, and the Security Council failed to do anything about it.

February 5th, many more were killed in Baba Amr and Inshaat. Shelling and shooting didn't stop. I couldn't sleep for more than two hours that night.

Only five days in, and I already have said that this month is the worst month we've ever seen. Ever. I was hoping for some quiet time after those massacres, but a part of me had doubt that this will happen.