Chapter Eleven: The Blue Hats Effect.

The Syrian regime promised the UN/AL envoy Kofi Annan to execute his plan and ceasefire starting April 12^th at 6 AM.

I woke up to see if the regime will do what they promised, and I must say that I didn’t hear a single gunshot all morning. I know this regime too well, and I know they might break their promise at any point, but I took an oath to write what I witness and not lie about it, and in this case, the regime did what they promised. The soldiers, security forces members, and vehicles are still everywhere, but there’s no shelling or shooting anywhere.

I received calls telling me about hearing gunshots in far away areas in Homs but no one knew if anybody was hurt or where exactly the shooting took place, but that doesn’t mean the regime broke their promise yet. I shall wait and see how things will turn out, hoping for a major demonstration tomorrow even if I can’t join it since I still am suffering from my back injury and can hardly leave the bed on my own.

Some areas in Syria aren’t as quiet, and people are still getting killed. Ceasefire wasn’t executed completely in many places, but that didn’t stop some families to go back to their houses to check them out after the shelling stopped in their neighborhoods like in Jorat Al Shayyah which has been targeted for weeks before today.

I heard a couple of gunshots at night near my street but that was over very quickly, and I heard people talking about some tanks firing in other areas but I didn’t hear any sounds and no one I trust confirmed the news to me.

April 13^th, another quiet morning, only a couple of gunshots were heard in my neighborhood but no one was hurt. Unlike the past few Fridays, security forces didn’t attack the area and didn’t occupy the streets, and there were no shelling at all, and that helped the people to go in demonstrations. I saw four demos after the prayer, and that sure brought back memories.

I couldn’t join any demo because as I said earlier, I still can hardly walk on my own because of my back injury. I went out to the balcony and saw the demos with a big smile on my face.

Not shooting at people will cause huge demonstrations all over Syria, and that’s what the regime doesn’t want, and that’s why Security Forces attacked demos since March 15^th 2011 and caused the mess we’ve been living in for more than a year. I want things to be different now, but I’m not optimistic because I know this regime well. They won’t allow peaceful demonstrations no matter what. They will attack and kill more to prevent us from saying what we want. The only difference now is that the Security Council will be watching closely, even though it was crippled many times by the Russian and Chinese VETOs before.

4:30 PM, rapid shooting could be heard clearly everywhere in the city.

6 PM, shelling is back to many areas in Homs including Qusoor, Jorat Al Shayyah, and Karabis.

7 PM, shelling sounds are getting louder and shooting got much closer to my neighborhood.

9 PM, the shelling sounds are fading away but I can still hear shooting.

The rest of the night was quiet, but the plan to ceasefire didn’t go well. Shooting in the first day and heavy shelling and shooting in the second.

April 14^th, the quiet mornings are over, and the horrible shelling sounds and smoke clouds are back at the same rate like Annan and his ceasefire plan didn’t even exist.

The same view I saw back in April 3^rd and 4^th. Buildings being hit by missiles and getting destroyed in two different areas.

I knew this was coming, yet I couldn’t help but to feel overwhelmed.

Shelling continued until 8 PM, and my area was dead quiet after that, with the exception of a couple of gunshots every few hours.

April 15^th, shelling started earlier than the past two days and kept going till 4 PM. Khaldieh was targeted viciously, along with Qusoor and Karabis.

I went to Waar for a couple of hours and was stopped by two security barriers where they checked my ID. I was able to check my email and send some tweets while I was there, and of course I heard the missiles being launched from Waar towards Khaldieh like I did many times before.

Back in Ghouta cellphones are still not working, and the sounds of shelling and shooting was all over the neighborhood. Many were buying food when I came back home.

The night was about the same as the previous night. Shelling stopped around 10 PM and the rest of it was quiet.

April 16^th, Shelling and shooting started early in the morning and kept going until around 6 PM. 55 were killed in Syria today. I keep wondering if I misunderstood the term “ceasefire”. Nothing has been ceased in Syria yet.

April 17^th, today marks the first year anniversary of a big massacre in Homs, and the regime repeats the same thing today. More than 55 were killed in the shelling in Syria today. Ceasefire is still out of sight.

April 18^th, the day of the first and greatest sit-in in Homs. I was there last year and witnessed how things turned out. The memory of the most noticeable day in the modern history of my city will remain with me forever. I spent the day in Waar after we left Ghouta in the morning while unbelievable shelling was in progress. The regime increased the daily dose of shelling on Homs in this day in purpose to kill people’s hope on going back to Freedom Square. Yet we all know that we will return there someday soon.

The night in Waar was quiet but the rest of the city wasn’t.

April 19^th, Waar area is quiet and filled with people. Internet is working but the cellphones networks got disabled in the morning. So now the entire city has no cellphone coverage and most of it has no internet. But we’re all used to it as it’s been almost 3 months.

I went to Ghouta in the afternoon and I started hearing the shelling sounds half way there. They didn’t stop all day and night. Waar is still a somewhat safe area where people can find shelter and supplies.

I went to bed early as I couldn’t sleep the two previous nights.

April 20^th started with heavy shelling and I saw black smoke mushrooms in many areas. Smoke clouds were all over Qusoor and Karabis.

April 22^nd – 29^th, as two of the UN observers stayed in Homs, the city remained calm. No heavy shelling, but some explosions could be heard sometimes. Shooting was minimal as well, but civilians kept on getting killed. Other cities like Hama and Duma took some big hits as Homs was resting.

I am waiting for the rest of the UN observers to arrive in hope of starting going out in huge demos without getting attacked by security forces.

On April 30^th, the leader of the UN observers arrived in Damascus, and that night shelling in Homs was back to the amount we used to have before the observers arrived in the city. The shelling and shooting didn’t stop all night. So now I am wondering if they have achieved anything. The killing didn’t stop not one day, and the shelling wasn’t gone more than a week. And now we’re back in the vicious circle of violence once more.

April was over and we’ve seen a couple of calm days in it, but as May came everything went back to how it was before the UN observers arrive to Homs. The numbers of casualties started to increase every day.

May 9^th 2012 was the night when things went back completely. Unbelievable shelling sounds coming from 3 or 4 different areas in Homs. I counted 36 explosions in 20 minutes that night.

May 10^th, I woke up to a very scary sound coming from my balcony, and people in the streets told me not to worry as they’ve heard such noise before. A sniper’s bullet hit my AC causing the release of its gas and oil quickly which sounded really loud and created a big steam like cloud for a few seconds. I had the AC fixed later for 80 dollars.

May 11^th was a Friday, and I saw a demonstration in my neighborhood. It ended quickly as security forces weren’t far away and shelling didn’t stop.

May 15^th, a small war happened in my street between security forces and the buildings’ walls. No FSA or any armed resistance was involved.

May 16^th, the same shelling and shooting sounds made their way into our daily lives and we got used to them, and that made me feel really bad. I was starting to lose hope. I sat on my balcony with my earphones on when a sniper started shooting randomly in my area, I was sitting behind a wall so I was safe, but my mother was scared and she tried talking to me, but since I had my earphones on and was listening to music I didn’t hear her, so she freaked out and jumped towards me cause she thought I was hit or dead. We went inside after that and decided not to go out to the balcony for a while.

Days went by and they were all the same. Shooting and shelling every day. People getting killed every day and no one is doing a thing about it. Annan’s plan was officially dead for me.

May 25^th, another Friday. The night was awful and the amount of shelling was unreal. It was a night that no one will forget anytime soon, until news started coming from Houla. A new massacre harvested more than 100 innocent lives including more than 30 kids and many women. Assad’s forces attacked that village with heavy artillery for 12 hours then his things went in and slaughtered entire families.

The world reacted poorly by condemning the massacre and some countries expelled the Syrian ambassadors in their capitals. What a weak response after 15 months of killing, and more than 15000 casualties.

May 28^th, another unbelievable night of excessive shelling. I didn’t count the explosions as they were too many. 3-4 explosions could be heard in a row at times, and that kept going all night and into the morning.

May 30^th, we woke up to find all types of internet connections disconnected like back in February, Dial up, ADSL, and 3G, with the exception of mobile phone’s slow and expensive GPRS. We also had no fresh water that day, and of course shelling and shooting didn’t stop. It’s like we’re back in early March with the exception of snow storms.

The lack of internet connections lasted 4 days, while we got fresh water after only 2.

June started but it felt exactly like May, or March, or February. Every day is exactly the same.

June 6^th, news about a new massacre, this time in a village near Hama with more than 100 casualties including children and women. Seems like this is the new regime’s strategy.

The UN observers weren’t allowed to enter that village until Friday. I will leave you the space to figure out why the regime didn’t let them in yourself, knowing that they denied the massacre and said that armed gangs killed about 9 civilians there, not a hundred or so.

June 8^th, I woke up that Friday at 7 AM because of the horrible sounds of four rockets that hit my neighborhood. We had to leave our bedrooms since we felt like the rockets were hitting our building directly. Around 1 PM, another wave of nearby shelling and shooting but it wasn’t as close as the early morning one so we barely reacted.

June 9^th, the day started with heavy nearby shelling, and for the first time a shred of what seems to be a mortar shell hit my balcony. It’s about 10 centimeters long.

Around 10 AM, more mortar shells started falling around my street and huge columns of black smoke coming out from the targeted buildings made my neighborhood look like a war zone.

11 PM, news about public guard forces occupying buildings in Kurnish street and spreading in many areas in Ghouta and Hamra, and that’s when people started leaving their houses in panic and heading to Waar.

We received many calls and found out that most of the people we know in Ghouta and Hamra have left or at least tried. Security forces barriers didn’t allow some families to leave the area, then news came that they won’t let anyone leave no matter what.

June 10^th, the streets of my neighborhood were empty unlike the previous days. No shops opened and no one can be seen. The terrorism of the day before was too much to handle with more than 100 deaths.

No internet and no electricity.

Nearby heavy shelling and the sounds of machine guns were all over my area and many other places. Rumors started spreading as some schools were being evacuated by the Red Crescent and the refugees were taken to other places. The fear left my neighborhood almost empty including my building. My family and I had a tense talk and we decided to stay.

A couple of mortar shells feel around my street once again but no shreds came our way today, and they caused serious damage in buildings and some people I know were injured. Snipers are active and one of my mother’s friends was killed by one while she was taking her daughter to her exams center.

Electricity came back and was gone again, and then it came back once more. Still no internet, not even GPRS since yesterday.

June 12^th, security forces filled my neighborhood, arrested some people and put cement barriers in all the exits around my area. We’re now trapped inside and they’re doing whatever they want.

Later that night the main street of Ghouta was filled with security forces vehicles and armored vehicles. The soldiers walked around shooting randomly for a couple of hours.

June 13^th, many families left the neighborhood after a morning of heavy shelling and shooting all around us. Smoke clouds were all over the sky, and buildings were shaking badly whenever a missile hits.

June 14^th, this was one of those days that I can never forget. I faced death and wrote about it in “Life in Homs” so I won’t repeat the day here.

June 15^th, tanks and security forces vehicles are all over my neighborhood. Shooting and shelling didn’t stop, and the area looks like a ghost town now.

June 16^th: I saw a helicopter flying over Homs, and a little after that the UN observers announced the suspension of their mission due to the increase of violence in Syria.

I will end this chapter here, since my area, and the entire country is going through a new phase now. Hoping for the next chapter to be the final one in this sad series of events.

Life in Homs

In here you’ll read exactly what I’ve experienced on Thursday, June 14^th, 2012.

I woke up at 5 AM after three hours of “sleep”, checked if there’s nearby shooting or shelling, got dressed then went out to the bakery. I found 11 people in front of me, and an hour later there were more than 100 behind me. At 7:16 it finally was my turn. I bought $1 worth of bread (We’re not allowed to buy more) and went home.

At 8 AM, I was done with the bread (preparing it and putting it in the freezer to keep it fresh), and then I had breakfast.

8:30 AM, I watched the news, got depressed and went back to bed (Since I don’t have a business to go to, because it’s been closed for over a year now, like most other businesses in Homs, but that’s a story for another time). In bed I tried to check my email and twitter but I found out that 3G and GPRS aren’t working. I don’t have ADSL at home so I have no internet connection now. No big deal, I’m used to it. But unlike the previous six days we have fresh water since morning.

12:30 PM, I got up, went out to buy vegetables which can’t be found easily, and as I was walking, I heard noise, and then a security forces’ vehicle passed by, followed by a tank, then a pickup truck with a huge machine gun (Shilka), I then went to a street where there’s more than one store and found most of them closed.

I went inside an open store and started collecting the things I need, only to be interrupted by the same vehicles once again passing right by me, and that’s when I quickly turned my Smartphone’s camera on and filmed the tank passing by without them noticing.

Seconds later, the Shilka started shooting and it was only 5 meters away from me. I was inside the store so I lied down on the floor next to the salesman. The glass shattered and the goods started falling from the shelves on us because the entire place was shaking badly.

Fire paused for a couple of seconds and that allowed us to crawl to another section of the store that has a wall to hide behind and a sink. The Shilka started shooting again and this time three bullets hit the store’s front. We ducked behind the wall waiting for what’s coming next.

At that moment, surprisingly, I wasn’t afraid. I actually felt like it’s the ending of me and was somewhat relieved. As a Homsi, I made peace with death a long time ago.

The Shilka kept on shooting for a few more seconds, so I decided to film that too, in case I made it out alive, but that’s when my phone started ringing. My mom called me and she was scared since she could hear the horrible shooting sounds as my house wasn’t far away. I told her I was on my way and that I’m okay. She called again seconds later as the Shilka was shooting and she heard the sounds from the call and was very worried so I had to yell at her saying “Leave me alone now!” then I hung up.

The salesman called his family and told them not to come down since his house wasn’t far away either.

Shooting stopped and we heard the vehicles moving, so we sneaked outside and saw that they were gone. I paid the salesman and he handed me some of what’s left of my money when we heard the vehicles coming back towards us again. We ran to the back of the store once more but this time the salesman was fast enough to close the main door half way down. I doubt that the door will actually matter since it’s thin and the Shilka bullets are huge.

Shooting started seconds later and it kept going for a few minutes. Then they left again.

We went out and saw a couple of Security forces officers, we waved at them and asked if we can go, and they said yes. The salesman told me he was leaving the neighborhood and not coming back, and wanted to give me the money he owed me when the vehicles came back once more and we instantly decided to run before they arrive. So I ran towards a nearby street without my money, and went home.

On the street where the Shilka was, I saw hundreds of empty shells, and they were really big, more than 10 centimeters each. I really wanted to pick one up as I was walking right next to them but the officers were watching me and the vehicles were heading my way so I didn’t.

Red Crescent volunteers were moving aids to a store, and most of them ran away when the shooting started, but one was left behind, and a Shilka bullet hit the street and a shred of it injured his foot. I didn’t see this myself as I was inside another store, but his brother is a friend of mine and told me what happened.

As I was walking home, many families were packing their stuff in their cars and fleeing the neighborhood. Many left the area in the past week, and only a few are still living here. Some of them asked me if they can use the street I came from and I said no and told them to be careful.

I arrived home at 1:30 PM, and found both of my parents standing on the balcony waiting for me, and that drove me insane more than what I just came from. Our balcony has been shot so many times before, and I have a collection of bullets from it. It’s filled with holes and even my AC was shot a while back.

I went up and we had a really bad fight, and I did most of the yelling if not all.

My mother told me that when she heard the shooting and I told her to leave me alone, she was so scared she couldn’t think straight anymore. She found herself going out the balcony hoping to see me without thinking about her personal safety. My dad followed her and they both stayed out there until I came back.

I was very harsh with them because all I could think about is their safety. I told them that what they did was very wrong and stupid, and they agreed. We yelled for about 30 minutes, which is a common thing these days since we’re all so stressed and sad from the situation we live in.

As we were arguing and fighting, we heard the tank shooting. That’s when we all stopped shouting and smiled at each other.

I said something I never thought I’d say. I said “One of those tank shells might hit our house and kill us all, let’s not go while we’re fighting and shouting at each other”.

We calmed down, said some nice things, and I went in to write this before I forget any details, and to show them the video I took.

The tank kept firing for a while then we saw it leaving the area with another security forces’ vehicle (A blue jeep like vehicle) around 2 PM.

A bunch of walking security forces members came and started shooting randomly for a few minutes then left without hurting anyone, then at 2:30 PM all that’s left is the sniper gunshots we hear every few seconds.

For the record: I here swear that I saw no Free Syrian Army members or any armed civilians anywhere near my area in months, and when the shooting happened there was no firing back and no attacks. There were no UN observers, and no reporters to cover what happened. There wasn’t even a demo or any kind of protest. There was only a tank, a Shilka, a security forces’ vehicle, some officers and many armed security forces members wearing uniforms shooting at houses and streets filled with us, unarmed, peaceful civilians, and most of them were like me, shopping.

I wonder what kind of story the regime’s media would tell if I was killed there. They’ll probably blame the “armed gangs” like they’ve been doing for months. Or maybe they’ll say I was a terrorist and was about to blow myself up somewhere and they stopped me from executing my evil plan. They might replace the sack of potatoes I had with some explosives before they take a picture of me, or place a hand gun in my shorts and a couple of dollars.

2:40 PM, I am typing this and we lost electricity. Good thing I’m on my laptop. I’ll save this file and go rest. It’s a very hot day here today, and I hope electricity will come back soon to turn the AC back on.

Electricity came back then was gone again, twice. We had to turn the AC off so it won’t get affected.

3:15 PM, a tank rushed into the main Ghouta street and started shooting at 3:17 PM.

10 tank shells were fired in 6 minutes, and counting.

4:00 PM, I counted 18 tank shells including the 10 I just mentioned, and once again only sniper gunfire can be heard, many of them.

Streets are empty and stores are closed.

I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich. Yeah, no diet when one might get killed any minute.

Sounds of explosions in Qusoor and Khaldieh never stopped since early morning. Actually they didn’t really stop since early June. Black smoke clouds are seen very clearly from my window. I don’t take pictures anymore as I have hundreds already.

I saw a tank leaving my neighborhood at 4:45, then sounds of tank shelling came from where that tank left.

One of my neighbors who left a week ago came by to check his house, I talked to him and he made me realize something. Explosions and tank shelling break glass windows because of the air pressure, and it’s not easy to get a glass window replaced these days so I opened all the glass windows we have a little so they move open in case of high pressure instead of getting shattered.

6:12 PM, a big explosion happened not very far away and caused our windows to open slightly. That means my theory was proven correct. I learned so many things in the past 16 months. Not pretty things, but things that I need to survive.

6:15 PM, I looked outside my window and saw many armed security forces walking around my street, talking, laughing, and from time to time shooting in the air.

After dinner, and exactly at 8:50 PM, I decided to bake some brownies (After facing death, you gotta have brownies), but as I was mixing the ingredients, we lost electricity for the fourth time today, but it only lasted 20 minutes or so, and a while later my brownies were good to go.

Security forces left my street and it was a calm night in my neighborhood for a change, except for the sniper bullets of course.

12:30 AM, After watching 3 episodes of The Simpsons while eating brownies, I checked my internet connection and it was still not working, so I set the alarm to 5 AM and went to bed, hoping that tomorrow won’t be as horrific as today.

12:52 AM, my sleeping plan got ruined when a security forces vehicle showed up in my calm empty street and started shooting randomly, and that awoke the sniper up and he started shooting every few seconds as well.

1 AM, I decided to ignore the sounds and try to get some sleep because my new day starts in less than 4 hours in the line for bread.

1:30 AM, my sleep gets interrupted again with a phone call from Inshaat, they asked if there’s anything happening near my house because they’re hearing some very awful sounds coming from my area, we told them that the sounds are coming from Qusoor and Khaldieh.

1:50 AM, the explosions sounds became much louder and more frequent. Security forces are now back in my area but they’re just standing there without shooting.

2:30 AM, the sounds of missiles being launched from nearby towards Khaldieh have become so much louder and my house is shaking with every explosion. The sniper is active as well.

That’s when I disabled the 5 O’clock alarm because I doubt I’ll get any sleep at all tonight.

2:52 AM, I saw a light in the sky like lightning then a huge explosion happened, followed by heavy gunfire for a couple of minutes.

3:20 AM, Security forces leave my street, while the attack on Khaldieh and other areas continues.

4:15 AM, a different security forces vehicle shows up and stays for a while in my neighborhood.

That’s when sleep finally got to me and when I woke up the vehicle was gone but the shelling on other neighborhood didn’t stop till Friday afternoon.

This is the day that I lived today. It wasn’t all bad, but it was bad enough. Not every day is similar to this one, some days are better and some are much worse. I hope you got a glimpse of the kind of life we live here in Homs, and I hope you appreciate the little things in your life because you don’t know when they might go away.

Notes:

• Shilka is a weapon made to defend areas against air force attacks, but is used against people. The bullet can go through a wall, or a metal door.
• The timing of the events is very accurate, give or take up to two minutes maximum.
• I have personally experienced all the events and I am responsible for the accuracy.
• I decided not to write about a thing or two because they might affect my safety because they show the exact location of my house.
• The few hours of disturbed sleep is really all the sleep we can get, and this has been going on since early February 2012.