Chapter Ten: Everybody’s fool.

By the end of March I didn’t want to write anymore as I felt like I’ve been writing the same things over and over again. The situation in Homs didn’t change for two months and every day is the same. A vicious circle of shelling, shooting, arresting, and chasing has been controlling us all for a long time and especially since early February.
The lack of communications, electricity, and water has become a usual matter and we got used to it. That’s why I didn’t write anything on April 1st and 2nd, even though they were two very scary days for most people in Homs, but then came today, April 3rd.

Today was the first day of the eight days Annan gave Syria to stop all types of violence, but seems like the regime misunderstood what Annan is trying to do as their attacks spread to new areas, and that’s why I have decided to write again, as for the first time ever, I was able to see buildings being hit directly without leaving my house.

The sounds of shelling and shooting were like any other day, but when I went out to the balcony around noon I was surprised with the view. At first, I saw black smoke coming out of a building not far away from my house, and it kept going for a while. I made some calls and found out that a diesel container was hit and that caused the container to explode, but no one was physically hurt.

Less than 30 minutes later I looked outside my window and saw yet a different view, so I went to the balcony to get a better look. White and black smoke clouds were in the sky, and many more were being created every time a missile hits a building.
I left the house and got a little closer and I was able to see the missiles hitting the buildings and the smoke coming out.

I went back home and kept watching this monstrosity for a while. I saw my city being destroyed. I saw civilians running away carrying nothing.
I called people in Qusoor and they told me that they can’t count all the buildings that have been hit for there was a new missile every few seconds.

I saw that Assad’s artillery is about a kilometer away from my house, and that’s when I understood why many of my neighbors left the building a couple of days ago. In fact, I know many families who left my neighborhood in the past two weeks, but I still refuse to.
I’ve always said that I prefer getting killed than leaving my house and becoming a refugee, and I might prove this very soon. I won’t leave my house to anyone. I live or die here. I know I’m not being smart with this decision, but that’s who I am. I know my rights as a human being, and I will take them or die fighting for them.

Cellphones have been working since last night, but only Syriatel allowed me to go online via GPRS, and that’s why I had to ask my friends in Damascus to buy me Syriatel credits. I didn’t buy much since the company is owned by Assad’s cousin Rami Makhlouf, who is the greatest thief in Syria and probably the entire Middle East.
I was able to send a few tweets and check some emails before I was out of credits again. I couldn’t send any pictures, or upload any videos and that made me very mad since I didn’t hear anything or see anything about what’s going on in the news. I could’ve streamed live footage if my 3G is working.

A cheesy thought came to my mind since we’re in April. The Syrian regime decided to fool Kofi Annan and the rest of the world by accepting to ceasefire on April 1st. This is the greatest April fool’s of all time. Assad will call the Security Council on the 12th and be like “I GOT YOU! OH I GOT YOU GOOD!” and they’ll laugh and forget about us forever.

Back to reality, I decided to go to bed early as I was suffering from the worst backache I’ve ever had in my life, and I have no idea why. But of course things didn’t go as planned. They never do, right? I had to get up and leave my bedroom when some security forces members decided to come to my street and start shooting like maniacs at nothing.

News channels showed footage of a sniper murdering people in Damascus with his friends cheering for him; they were all soldiers in the Syrian military. The video was horrible, but then they showed an even worse video that shows Assad’s forces stepping on the bodies of those who they killed, they were laughing and cheering while kicking the corpses of those civilians. That’s when I imagined a friend of mine who was murdered by a sniper on April 2nd near Dablan Street in Homs. I hope they didn’t mess with his body after they killed him. RIP Rami Safwi. He was a good guy.

By the end of this day I recalled the first three days of March and the first three days of February, and figured how things are still getting worse.

April 4th, I woke up at 6 and snoozed till 7 AM, and since it was a quiet morning (compared to the previous 3 days) I decided to go out and buy some bread. Of course there was a huge line of people when I arrived at the bakery around 7:15, so I only bought a little to avoid standing in line for hours. On my way home and exactly at 7:35 the shooting began in Qusoor and Karabis areas, and then the shelling started.

Ten minutes before 8 things started to get worse quickly as the shelling sounds became unbelievably rapid and loud and they were accompanied by nonstop shooting that kept going till 8:30. Things slowed down after that for a while but the shelling was continued around noon.
Water was cut off the neighborhood since last night, but electricity and cellphones are working.

At six O’clock PM the shelling sounds got louder and closer, and then a missile of some sort hit a street near my house where people usually go shopping. Many were seriously injured and some died including one of my relatives. I went out to the balcony right after the explosion took place and saw young men carrying an injured child to a neighbor’s house to help him. I wish I was a doctor so I can help, but there’s nothing I can offer to help that poor kid and that made me feel terrible.

People told us that my relative who died was standing very close to where the missile hit, and that caused his organs to be separated and scattered all over the street. He was only buying food.
Those young men who helped the child and others were unarmed civilians; they stayed on the street afterwards in case somebody needs their help.

This was the first time the Syrian regime targets Ghouta area with heavy artillery. We did lose many people in this neighborhood since Security Forces used to come and shoot at demonstrations all the time, and of course we shouldn’t forget the snipers, but this was new.

I have to mention that my neighborhood doesn’t have any members of the Free Syrian Army and that people who live here aren’t armed and I doubt that anyone owns a gun. That’s why Ghouta was considered one of the safest areas in Homs, and it turned into a place where people come to buy food and supplies. It is considered one of the “good” neighborhoods in Homs as the value of property here is really high and not many people can afford to live here. Ghouta, Hamra, and Inshaat are probably the three most expensive neighborhoods in Homs, and that’s why the FSA didn’t get involved in them like the rest of the city, of course with the exception of Inshaat since it’s very close to Baba Amr.

Anyway, the shelling on Ghouta didn’t stop, but the streets were emptied moments after the first explosion and that helped reduce the numbers of the casualties.
News about missiles hitting different buildings in Ghouta, and Al Farooq mosque, but I didn’t go check that out myself as my parents were a bit panicked and they needed me to stay with them.

I received many calls telling me to leave Ghouta and head to Inshaat or Waar or Midan since my family has houses in those areas, but we decided not to move yet. I personally don’t want to leave my house no matter what, but I shouldn’t forget about my family. They need to be some place safe, and that’s why I made a plan. I collected all the important things we have in two bags and got my family ready to move if my street got targeted. I hope that we won’t get forced to leave, but my family’s lives are a top priority to me.

At 8 PM I saw many families leaving my street, they packed their bags and left.
Cellphones stopped working around 9 PM, and it wasn’t a surprise to me or to anyone.
Shelling and shooting kept going all night in many areas but my neighborhood didn’t see much action after 10 PM.

April 5th started like the four previous days, shelling and shooting from many areas started around 6 AM and kept getting closer and louder every hour.

11:30 AM, a taxi rushed into my street and a woman started yelling and crying out loud, and that drew the attention of everyone around including me. A blooded man was taken out of the taxi and a man with a car volunteered to take him to a hospital immediately, so he was moved into the other car which ran quickly with him aboard. I don’t know the name of that man but I know that he’s probably dead now since he was shot in his neck or head as I saw, and the upper half of his body was all covered in his blood.
And since hospitals are being monitored by security forces that would kidnap the injured people, most of the injuries get treated in houses or mosques with primitive equipments, and that’s why most of the seriously injured people die.

After this incident, I saw more families leaving the neighborhood, my building included. Phone calls kept coming asking us to head to Damascus or other areas in Homs, but the situation in most neighborhoods in Homs is similar to ours, as there is no safe street in the city anymore.

Our bags were ready, but none of us wants to leave, especially me. I tried to convince my family to move and leave me here to “take care of the house” but they didn’t buy it.

The Syrian regime said that they’ve started taking their artillery off the cities’ streets. It’s amazing how someone can be this deceiving. Every time they say they’re doing something positive, the exact opposite was being done in reality. I haven’t heard or seen this much shooting and shelling in my life, and the past four days were the worst ones we’ve ever experienced, yet they’re saying that things are getting better and that their forces are leaving.

2012 is a very strange year so far, as every month I say to myself that it’s the worst month ever, then a new month stars and it’s even worse than the one that finished. February was much worse than January, and March was even worse than February, and now I see that April is much worse than March. If things kept going like this, I doubt that I’ll see May.

I left the house around 3 PM and walked around Ghouta and Hamra then visited a friend’s house, and of course he showed me his bullets collection and the holes they left in the house’s walls. We swapped stories from the past two days, and on my way back I saw huge black smoke clouds coming from Al Qusoor area and they were bigger than the ones I saw yesterday. I found an open store and bought some fresh fruits and vegetables in case we get stuck at the house for a while.

The rest of the night was quiet in my area but not in the entire city.

April 6th, as it’s a Friday, security forces did like they do every Friday, occupy the streets and shoot randomly to scare people from even going to the mosques. The shooting and shelling gets increases by the time people leave the mosques so they won’t go in a demonstration.
Around 4 PM, a woman came to our house and said that she’s stuck in my street and can’t go home, she was with a son of hers, and she knew my mother. We let them in, and they told us their story. This woman had two sons, the elder one was killed four days ago in Qusoor, and no one could get close to his body for three whole days, but people in Khaldieh called her yesterday after they were able to get the body off the street, and that they’ll burry him today. She went with her other son at noon to Khaldieh and waited a long time to see him and say goodbye, but she couldn’t as there were many casualties arriving to where she was waiting and security forces didn’t allow the dead bodies to be taken to the cemetery and be buried.
She spent six hours watching dead bodies and limbs waiting for her son’s. Those who retrieved her son’s body came by and told her that they had to bury him yesterday since the body wasn’t in a good shape after being left on the street for three days and that only crushed her more as she couldn’t say goodbye. I believe they did the best for her not letting her see him like that, because I wouldn’t want my mother see me in that shape if I get killed. I would want my mother to remember me as I am now, because the last Image of someone lives in those who see it forever. Now this woman will always remember her son alive and well, not killed and rotten.
We brought them some food and as they were eating they told us that they haven’t had anything to eat in two days. They found a taxi to take them to their house after a while and left.

What we’ve been through is nothing compared to that woman’s story, and her story is nothing compared to other stories we’ve been hearing or seeing.
My mother was very affected by what the woman told us, she cried a lot and got very depressed. And after the woman and her son left, my mother couldn’t think of anything else, and so did I.

We could only hear gunshots every now and then in my area after that, but the sounds of shelling from other areas kept on coming till midnight.

April 7th, the number of casualties in Syria this day was the biggest in April so far, and as we’re getting closer to the date which the government agreed upon to stop the violence, violence was increasing and the attacks are getting worse.
It was difficult to do anything around noon because the shelling and shooting sounds were horrifying and they kept most of us inside.
At night, the shelling sounds were gone, and it was quiet, but suddenly someone started shooting in my street and a man was hit. People ran out to help but they couldn’t get close to him as the shooting continued for a couple of minutes. The shooter then left and some men and a woman (A relative of the injured man) were able to put him in a car and drive off to give him medical care.
A few minutes after they left, the armed man was back shooting every few minutes at random targets, but the streets were completely empty so I doubt that anyone was hurt.

April 8th, we’re having a problem with water as we only got four hours of fresh water in the past four days, and it’s getting worse as it’s starting to feel like summer in here in the past week or so.
The usual shelling was heard clearly in many areas in Homs, and the black smoke clouds that we’ve been seeing since April started are shown as well, and that means Qusoor and Jorat Al Shaiyah are still being targeted.

The Syrian regime started working against Annan’s plan and put obstacles to ruin his mission, but then again we all saw that coming. This is how this regime works. They say something and do the opposite while blaming everyone else for what they’re doing.
The night once again was quiet until 11:30 PM when I heard rapid shooting coming from a far but the shooting sounded like there was a little war in that area.

April 9th, I went to Waar for the first time in months, and I was able to use my cellphones there and check my email. I wonder when we will get the network back in my neighborhood.

The regime attacked a Syrian refugees camp in Turkey killing two refugees at least and harming many others including Turkish policemen. That never happened before and it shows how cocky the regime is these days. They’re not afraid of attacking us in other countries.

The regime hits again and kills a Lebanese cameraman inside Lebanon and harms a couple of his coworkers. This wasn’t the first time the regime kills Lebanese people or trespasses the border, yet no one is doing anything about it.

April 10th, I went to Waar again and did some work there and apparently hurt my back badly somehow. By the time I went home I could barely move from the pain in my back. I couldn’t walk, or sit. Anyway, when I was in Waar I heard missiles being launched from the military school there towards other areas in Homs, which meant that the regime won’t stick to Annan’s plan that says the attacks must be stopped today. I never thought the regime will stick to it anyway.

April 11th, things started to slow down and by the time night came the city was completely quiet with the exception of a gunshot every now and then. The regime promised Annan to ceasefire at 6 AM tomorrow. I have doubt, but I sure am hopeful. This could start a new era of this revolution, an era that we’ve been waiting for a long time.

Steve Jobs and me.

If you're a Steve Jobs fan, or if you've read his Wikipedia page you would know that Steve Jobs's biological father is a Syrian man, and to be specific, from my city, Homs.

His father's family is one of Homs's big families, it's the Jandali family, and since I have relatives from that family, I can say that Steve Jobs was a relative of mine, but that's not what I'm going to talk about in here.

Steve's father fell in love with an American woman and she got pregnant, and since they weren't married and had issues, the Jobs family adopted baby Steve and raised him well.

Now we all know that Steve was the brains in Apple. He is the father of Mac, iPod, iPhone, and iPad, but what you might not know that many people and companies were directly affected by the brilliance of this man.
People like Bill Gates, who created Windows after he supplied Jobs with apps for Mac.
Jobs sued Gates saying that he stole the soul of Mac and made Windows, but that was settled when Jobs dropped the lawsuits against Gates and worked with him on other projects.
No one can deny that Mac was the reason Windows existed, and between Windows and Macs I believe we cover more than 90% of the world's computers.

Then we saw the iPod which was copied by every other company and that's how we have MP3 players.
Then the iPhone was the savior from Dumbphones like Nokia, and the success of the iPhone was the reason Google adopted and developed my precious Android (Yes, I'm an Android fanboy), and those control the Smartphone industry after the death of Black Berry.
Then the iPad showed up, and Google as well followed Apple's steps on making tablets.

After this glimpse of some historical facts, let's see what would've happened if Steve Jobs was raised in Homs Syria, his father's hometown.

First, Steve might've been called Mustafa, and would go to our crappy public schools were his brilliance would've been killed slowly and painfully.
He would've had to get a job at a restaurant to help his father support the family, and then waste the best years of his life following a dream of leaving Syria to study or work in another country, like Saudi Arabia or the UAE.

Now he would've faced one of two choices, he could either go to Saudi Arabia to work for years and send his savings to his family in Syria hoping he could come back to Syria someday after making a fortune that can never really be made, or he could stay in Syria, get a job with a very low income, and live in a cheap house in a cheap area like Baba Amr or Khaldieh, and eventually get killed while the city is being bombed by the military or get arrested for tweeting something about freedom

That means there would be no Mac, Windows, iPod, MP3 players, iPhone, Android, Windows Mobile, iPad, or any other tablet, Smartphone, or decent computer or software. Steve Jobs didn't live in Syria and didn't face these challenges we're facing.

His brilliance affected every single one of us and changed the world to a better place. How many Steve Jobs could my city and my country bring to the world? How many Steve Jobs have been killed by Assad's army in the past 41 years?

Steve Jobs is half Syrian, so we know for a fact that Syrians can do great things if they got the chance. I hope that the next Steve Jobs gets the chance of a decent education were his brilliance can be discovered in his hometown, in Homs, in Syria.

Chapter Nine: Bloody anniversary

It's March 15th 2012. One year ago today was the star of the Syrian revolution.
The regime cancelled a holiday today so they can force workers and students to go out in a pro Assad march in a couple of cities.
They failed organizing one in Homs, Hama, Idleb, Daraa and other cities.
Demos went out in many areas in Homs and Assad's forces attacked many of them and left casualties.

I was very depressed all day and couldn't watch the news for more than five minutes because all news is bad news. All the world is doing is talk, and that helps no one.
All types of internet connection got disabled once again yesterday after ADSL and Dial Up worked for two days or less.
3G is still disabled since early February cellphones networks are still down as well.

March 16th, a peaceful demo started in my neighborhood and Assad's forces attacked it after 30 minutes. Exactly at 1:22 PM, I heard a sound of a bomb exploding and it caused my house to shake, and news came about an ex soldier who attacked one of two BTR vehicles with that bomb killing a security forces member and harming others, and the second BTR shot him dead and went crazy. They started attacking everything that moves and shooting at the houses. People started running because they weren't warned about the Assad forces coming since cellphones are still not working.
The attack continued for more than thirty minutes and I believe some protestors got hurt. Assad's security forces stayed for a while and kept on shooting randomly after the streets got empty.

I went out to the balcony and found eight new bullet holes in the walls, and the holes weren't close to each other, I collected the bullets and took some photos.
This proves the randomness of the shooting Assad's forces are doing. If someone was standing there when the shooting took place we could've lost them for no reason at all.

March 17th, I received confirmations that at least three civilians were killed in the shooting near my house the previous day, and one of them was a relative of mine.

I spent the day reading Bashar Assad's leaked emails and hating him and his family more and more. His wife and her family are as guilty as him. He's playing tennis, and his wife is spending loads of our stolen money on shoes while his forces are killing us.

News from Damascus about hearing shooting sounds in Arnoos square in the middle of Damascus. I called someone who lives there and they confirmed the news.

March 19th, the sounds of shelling are back since early morning. I went out and all the main streets and squares in Homs were completely empty. I found a couple of opened stores in two neighborhoods but the center of the city was all shut down and empty. It has been this way for weeks or even months.

I received a phone call from Mazzeh in Damascus and they confirmed the news about hearing explosions and shooting sounds all night last night in places I am very familiar with. They couldn't tell me exactly what happened but they could hear the sounds very clearly till this morning.

Around 5:30 PM, a security forces vehicle rushed into my street and started shooting randomly for a couple of seconds then moved on to another street where it did the same thing even though there was no demo or anything happening anywhere near this area.

March 20th, I didn't get any sleep for the sounds of shelling and shooting started right before I go to bed in the early morning hours and continued until noon. The explosion sounds came from at least three different areas.

I went out in the afternoon and most of the stores were closed and most of the streets were empty, but that's nothing new since we've been living like this since early February.

Shelling continues as we got a phone call from a relative who lives in Bayada saying that they had to evacuate their houses after Assad's forces announced that they don't guarantee the safety of those who stay in their houses.

Large groups of people took what they can and left their houses to Assad's destruction machine. This happened before in Inshaat in February, but the difference is that Bayada is a poor neighborhood unlike Inshaat, so the purpose of evacuating the houses isn't stealing goods but the destruction of the anti Assad demonstration base in there.

Around seven O'clock later that night we lost electricity, knowing that water was lost a few hours before that, and the loss of electricity lasted all night and until noon of the next day.

The rest of the night was quiet but we all had a fear in our hearts that the electricity and water will not be available for days like we experienced earlier this month.

March 21st, it's Mother's Day in Syria today, but all the good presents are taken as many mothers lost their sons or their babies in the past year, many mothers lost their homes, and all is left is sadness. What will I give my mother on this day? I find it hard to even say "Happy Mother's Day" since there is nothing happy about it anymore.

Water and electricity are back around noon as I said earlier and that sure brightened our day, I can take a shower and watch the news. Oh the joy.

March 22nd, my cellphone is getting a signal, I tried to make an international call but got disconnected. A couple of minutes later I get a call on it and a couple of texts, then I tried to check my email via GPRS and it worked. I read a couple of emails and checked my twitter after about 45 days of being offline. My 3G number is still not working, and since I didn't have much credit on my regular phone I couldn't stay online for long. Hoping for this "No Internet No Cellphones" phase to be finished soon and never come back.

People in many areas in Homs are leaving their homes after Assad Forces tell them to, and that what made a neighborhood like mine get filled with people, many families are living in each house, and even the public schools are inhabited now. Families are living in classrooms in such bad weather.

This has been going for way too long. More than a year and things are still getting worse. There seems to be a sniper located in one of the buildings in Ghouta and people are scared of crossing the streets in one of the safest areas in Homs. No area is safe anymore.

I tried to check my email before I went to bed but cellphones were disconnected again, and I wasn't surprised by that.

March 23rd, sounds of violent shelling are coming from Khaldieh and other areas in Homs since the early morning.
My neighborhood is quiet. Shooting sounds could be heard every now and then but nothing serious is going on in here today unlike last Friday.
The streets are empty and all stores are closed, there was no demonstration or anything since Assad forces were roaming the streets every few minutes.

March 24th, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning because of the horrible sounds outside.
Shelling and bombing not far away from my house kept going for hours and increased between 6 and 7 AM. The old city is taking most of the shelling today and Khaldieh comes in second.

I received a phone call from Inshaat and they told me that they can hear mass shooting from Baba Amr but no explosions.

A group of Assad's security forces accompanied with a vehicle attacked places in Ghouta between 6:30 and 7:00 PM for no reason. They came, did some random shooting and then left. All streets were completely empty a while before they came. This has become a usual thing in here, and sometimes people get hurt by the random shooting while they're at their balconies or near a window.

March 25th, last year today I joined my first demonstration, filmed my first video, and took my first beating. I cannot believe it has been a year already. I still recall what happened like it was yesterday. Assad's forces made sure I don't forget this day as they started shooting in my street exactly at 2:10 AM, and they kept going till 5 when they changed things and started a missile attack around my area. I could hear the missiles being launched and hitting their target which isn't far away from my house since my house was shaking badly every time. I stayed in bed even though I couldn't sleep, and so did my family. There is nothing we can do even if a missile hits our house so we'd better act like there's nothing going on.
We don't panic anymore, we don't even talk about it. The shelling continued and got more aggressive between 6:30 and 7 AM, and the sounds of mass shooting could be heard after every two or three missiles. I don't know what kind of artillery they're using and it doesn't really matter since the damage is happening anyway.
I'm not certain of the targets they're hitting, and I don't think even the ones launching the missiles know more than I do. It all looks so random to me; the targets, the timing, everything.

Things started slowing down after 9 AM, and there was no mention of what happened in my area on any news channel but that isn't strange since most of what happens in here never gets mentioned anyway. That is a small example of how things in Syria are much worse than anybody sees on TV. Even the best news channels can't cover half of what's really going on.

I went out around 1 PM and people told me stories about the new sniper in the area. They told me about two guys who have been shot yesterday and they showed me some cars that have been targeted.
I went as close as I could without being spotted by the sniper and saw a car coming my way, and that's when he opened fire on the car. Broken glass shattered but the driver wasn't hit and he stepped in it and saved himself but the sniper kept shooting for a couple of seconds. Few minutes later, he opened fire again but this time I didn't see who he was targeting as he can see more than one street from the building he's occupying.

All the main streets were all empty and stores were closed like always. I found some opened stores in narrow streets and bought some food, which has become really expensive. For example: A kilo of sugar is worth 90 pounds while it was 65 a month ago.

Some security forces have been walking the streets of my area and shooting randomly every 30 minutes or so, that is both new and very dangerous. I heard at least five death announcements today, all were young men and all were martyrs.

Death has become a part of our everyday life.

March 27th, my phone is working and MTN sent me a text message asking for money even though they have disabled all communications in my city for about 50 days. I got the chance to check my email and twitter that day.

Bashar Assad was visiting Baba Amr, and I believed that this was the reason we have a working internet connection and cellphones network. The day was quiet but some shooting could be heard from many areas at times, and two families were killed in Baba Amr after Assad left since they refused to go out and cheer for him, news said.

March 28th, I woke up at 7 AM and left the house at 7:30. I found a taxi cab and asked him to take me to the bus station where I can take a bus to Damascus.

The reason why I was heading to Damascus is to withdraw some money since banks have been closed since early February and ATM machines are all empty and we have no money left. The taxi driver asked for 400 Syrian pounds as he was going to take me through a long way since the usual way is filled with snipers and is unsafe to use for months. I agreed and he started driving. The first security check point stopped us while we were heading to Al Waar area (New Homs) and they checked our IDs, then a second point, then a third point which had a tank in it and it was close to the military hospital, and a fourth and last check point near the station. I then took a bus and off I went to Damascus.

I haven't left Homs since September of 2011, so I was looking forward for this trip, especially since we had no decent internet connection working in Homs and I had things to send and publish. On my way to Damascus I saw nine military vehicles; one of them was a truck with a huge machine gun in its back. I never saw such a gun before and I have no idea what it's called.

The road to Damascus is filled with Bashar Assad pictures, quotes and some security barriers. The city itself was filled with security and military members everywhere. I went to Kafarsuseh, Mazzeh, Arnoos, and many other areas to see how things are over there, and everything was quiet. The streets weren't as crowded as they used to be and some of them had barriers and check points.

I withdrew some money, went online for an hour or so, had a cup of coffee and headed back to Homs. Before I arrive to the city of Homs, my phone lost connection and that's when I knew that cellphones networks were down again, but I was expecting this since Assad left the city.

I was dizzy and sick from the trip since the buses were horrible so I went to bed hearing the sounds of shooting and shelling that I haven't missed at all.

March 29th, I woke up to the same sounds I was hearing as I went to bed last night, and when I got up I found out that the electricity was off. I went out and bought some food and supplies since I got money now, and went back home.
The electricity was back so I decided to write a piece on Steve Jobs, one of the most famous people my city gave the world. Later that night I saw a relative of mine on one of the famous news channels talking about the Syrian situation and what he said was great. I was glad to finally see someone from my family saying what he wants out loud and using his real name. Hoping someday I could do the same without the fear of getting tortured or killed.

March 30th, like every Friday, security forces started the shelling and shooting before the prayer and occupied some place which made it very hard for us to go out in a demonstration since it would be attacked within moments of its start. Assad's forces did come and open fire anyway but since there was no demonstration, no one was hurt in my area.
News about more people getting killed by snipers all over the city kept coming, and most of their bodies couldn't be moved since snipers target anyone trying to get close. Some corpses spent four days in some areas and I knew one of them. The parents of the man I knew made calls and talked to many of those in charge to be allowed to get their son's dead body of the street, but no one could help.
Some streets have been taken hostage by Pro Assad snipers and some areas were turned into death traps.

At night I got a call from a friend who used to live in Inshaat telling me that the land line phone in their home have been taken by the military when they occupied the house back in February and that they won't give it back. I bet that the phone company will still collect the bill from my friend's family anyway. I also got confirmations about security forces raiding houses in Al Waar area, arresting people and searching for weapons and FSA members.

March 31st, the last day of this month was similar to any day of the past two weeks. No cellphones, no internet, shelling, shooting, and house raiding. More people are leaving the city every day in an attempt to survive. Water and electricity come and go. The world is still watching us suffer and no one is ready to do anything about it but talk. How can a man keep his faith in such dark times? How can I remain optimistic? How much more can we take?