Lest we forget

Today started like any other day in my sad city Homs. Gunfire and shelling sounds could be heard every now and then, but that didn't stop the people from going out to buy food and other basic things.

The streets in the safe neighborhoods turned into markets where sellers use the sidewalks to show their products, like vegetables, Hummus, bread, and sometimes shoes. But then again there are no real safe neighborhoods in Homs anymore. Mortar shells and gunshots can come out of nowhere to take lives.

As we were getting closer to nighttime, streets were empty and everyone went home, as we all know that night time is when the serious shelling takes place, and that's exactly what happened.

The shelling sounds were increasing as well as the gunfire in many areas in Homs. I made some calls and got confirmations about attacks in at least four different neighborhoods in Homs alone, and about other attacks on villages near Homs like Rastan, Kusair, and Houla.

Neighborhoods like Qusoor, Jorat Al Shayah and old Homs were attacked so many times before and more than 50% of each area was destroyed back in February and March, and the new attacks are destroying what's left. As for Houla, that village was being attacked with heavy artillery for 12 hours before that night and no news came from there during those 12 hours as no one could go inside or leave the village.

Shelling in Houla started slowing down but not in other area, and that helped some people get inside to check what happened, and that's when the reports started coming.

The first thing I hears was about a group of Pro-Assad thugs who came inside Houla after the shelling stopped and they killed families. We didn't get any numbers or facts at that time.

A while after we started getting some numbers and info, and that's when we realized how horrible the situation there was. The Syrian army was shelling that village for 12 hours as I said earlier, and they only stopped to let their thugs (Shabiha) enter the village and finish some families off. They went in with their guns and knives and gathered many families in some houses and started killing everyone like they were sheep. They killed men, women, and children. They used their guns, knives, and hands. It was a brutal, inhumane massacre.

13 kids were slaughtered, no 35, or 50. 90 people were murdered, no 113. They kept finding dead bodies. Some were killed from the shelling, and the rest were executed viciously including the children.

Images started coming, then videos. Dead innocent children's bodies stacked in a small room. Their bodies had wounds, and their blood was on the floor. What a horrible thing to see. This is the act of an animal, no human can do this. No human can kill children and stack their bodies like this. Oh the humanity has failed those poor children badly. How much did they suffer? How did they watch their parents getting slaughtered in front of them? How did they wait for the killer to come to them and slit their little throats or put a bullet in their stomach? I cannot even imagine this amount of cruelty.

More news kept on coming, and more horrible footage of those families. The activists called the UN observers but those were found asleep in their hotel and they said they weren't allowed to leave the hotel till morning. The children of Houla are on their own.

The UN envoy went to Houla the next morning and counted more than 100 dead bodies including more than 30 children. They confirmed everything. It all did happen and we all couldn't do a thing to stop it. How helpless that makes me feel.

More than 100 innocent civilians were murdered that day in the name of a dictator. I will never forget that night. I can never forgive those monsters. And I ask you to not forget what happened there in Houla. That big scar in the face of all humanity will never fade away. We are truly sorry we failed you Houla. We are ashamed of ourselves.

The land of a million doctors.

As you may know, I've been suffering from a serious back injury for awhile, and it's been keeping me in bed most of my time. As a result, I had to cancel many dates and let some people down in the past few weeks, and that's the bad part, now the good part is the laughter.

I live in a city called Homs, a city that is now famous for being the main target for all the cruelty of the world, but this same city has always been famous for its simple and nice people and their sense of humor.

There's about a million residents in Homs, and each one of them think they're a doctor, so every time someone hears about my back problem they must give me advice, and here's some of what I've been given:

The first tip I received was after I first injured my back and it was that I need to lie down on the floor on my back and put my feet up. My dad gave me that advice and it made sense at the time, and I've tried it but the results were catastrophic. I couldn't move for 15 minutes because of the unbelievable pain I had from that pose. Never again.

A taxi driver told me I needed to stand on my toes and raise my hands up for 30 minutes three times a day.
The guy who fixed my AC told me I should lie on the floor with my feet up, and then I should jump up and do sudden sports moves that involve moving my back viciously.

A man who was looking for a house told me I should put a pillow behind my back and do bicycle moves while on my back.

My mom's friend said I should sit backwards. I still have no idea what that even means.

One of my neighbors actually gave me the name of the pills he used to use, and then gave me directions to a pharmacy that would sell them without a prescription. I saved the address in case I needed something else (wink wink).

A relative of mine told me to get someone light to walk on my back. I now believe she hates me.

Of course there are many more like using hot water, getting an oil massage, and voodoo. Okay no one really suggested voodoo.

This is why I love my city and its people so much. This simplicity that might sometimes hurt is just too damn adorable.

Chapter Ten: Everybody’s fool.

By the end of March I didn’t want to write anymore as I felt like I’ve been writing the same things over and over again. The situation in Homs didn’t change for two months and every day is the same. A vicious circle of shelling, shooting, arresting, and chasing has been controlling us all for a long time and especially since early February.
The lack of communications, electricity, and water has become a usual matter and we got used to it. That’s why I didn’t write anything on April 1st and 2nd, even though they were two very scary days for most people in Homs, but then came today, April 3rd.

Today was the first day of the eight days Annan gave Syria to stop all types of violence, but seems like the regime misunderstood what Annan is trying to do as their attacks spread to new areas, and that’s why I have decided to write again, as for the first time ever, I was able to see buildings being hit directly without leaving my house.

The sounds of shelling and shooting were like any other day, but when I went out to the balcony around noon I was surprised with the view. At first, I saw black smoke coming out of a building not far away from my house, and it kept going for a while. I made some calls and found out that a diesel container was hit and that caused the container to explode, but no one was physically hurt.

Less than 30 minutes later I looked outside my window and saw yet a different view, so I went to the balcony to get a better look. White and black smoke clouds were in the sky, and many more were being created every time a missile hits a building.
I left the house and got a little closer and I was able to see the missiles hitting the buildings and the smoke coming out.

I went back home and kept watching this monstrosity for a while. I saw my city being destroyed. I saw civilians running away carrying nothing.
I called people in Qusoor and they told me that they can’t count all the buildings that have been hit for there was a new missile every few seconds.

I saw that Assad’s artillery is about a kilometer away from my house, and that’s when I understood why many of my neighbors left the building a couple of days ago. In fact, I know many families who left my neighborhood in the past two weeks, but I still refuse to.
I’ve always said that I prefer getting killed than leaving my house and becoming a refugee, and I might prove this very soon. I won’t leave my house to anyone. I live or die here. I know I’m not being smart with this decision, but that’s who I am. I know my rights as a human being, and I will take them or die fighting for them.

Cellphones have been working since last night, but only Syriatel allowed me to go online via GPRS, and that’s why I had to ask my friends in Damascus to buy me Syriatel credits. I didn’t buy much since the company is owned by Assad’s cousin Rami Makhlouf, who is the greatest thief in Syria and probably the entire Middle East.
I was able to send a few tweets and check some emails before I was out of credits again. I couldn’t send any pictures, or upload any videos and that made me very mad since I didn’t hear anything or see anything about what’s going on in the news. I could’ve streamed live footage if my 3G is working.

A cheesy thought came to my mind since we’re in April. The Syrian regime decided to fool Kofi Annan and the rest of the world by accepting to ceasefire on April 1st. This is the greatest April fool’s of all time. Assad will call the Security Council on the 12th and be like “I GOT YOU! OH I GOT YOU GOOD!” and they’ll laugh and forget about us forever.

Back to reality, I decided to go to bed early as I was suffering from the worst backache I’ve ever had in my life, and I have no idea why. But of course things didn’t go as planned. They never do, right? I had to get up and leave my bedroom when some security forces members decided to come to my street and start shooting like maniacs at nothing.

News channels showed footage of a sniper murdering people in Damascus with his friends cheering for him; they were all soldiers in the Syrian military. The video was horrible, but then they showed an even worse video that shows Assad’s forces stepping on the bodies of those who they killed, they were laughing and cheering while kicking the corpses of those civilians. That’s when I imagined a friend of mine who was murdered by a sniper on April 2nd near Dablan Street in Homs. I hope they didn’t mess with his body after they killed him. RIP Rami Safwi. He was a good guy.

By the end of this day I recalled the first three days of March and the first three days of February, and figured how things are still getting worse.

April 4th, I woke up at 6 and snoozed till 7 AM, and since it was a quiet morning (compared to the previous 3 days) I decided to go out and buy some bread. Of course there was a huge line of people when I arrived at the bakery around 7:15, so I only bought a little to avoid standing in line for hours. On my way home and exactly at 7:35 the shooting began in Qusoor and Karabis areas, and then the shelling started.

Ten minutes before 8 things started to get worse quickly as the shelling sounds became unbelievably rapid and loud and they were accompanied by nonstop shooting that kept going till 8:30. Things slowed down after that for a while but the shelling was continued around noon.
Water was cut off the neighborhood since last night, but electricity and cellphones are working.

At six O’clock PM the shelling sounds got louder and closer, and then a missile of some sort hit a street near my house where people usually go shopping. Many were seriously injured and some died including one of my relatives. I went out to the balcony right after the explosion took place and saw young men carrying an injured child to a neighbor’s house to help him. I wish I was a doctor so I can help, but there’s nothing I can offer to help that poor kid and that made me feel terrible.

People told us that my relative who died was standing very close to where the missile hit, and that caused his organs to be separated and scattered all over the street. He was only buying food.
Those young men who helped the child and others were unarmed civilians; they stayed on the street afterwards in case somebody needs their help.

This was the first time the Syrian regime targets Ghouta area with heavy artillery. We did lose many people in this neighborhood since Security Forces used to come and shoot at demonstrations all the time, and of course we shouldn’t forget the snipers, but this was new.

I have to mention that my neighborhood doesn’t have any members of the Free Syrian Army and that people who live here aren’t armed and I doubt that anyone owns a gun. That’s why Ghouta was considered one of the safest areas in Homs, and it turned into a place where people come to buy food and supplies. It is considered one of the “good” neighborhoods in Homs as the value of property here is really high and not many people can afford to live here. Ghouta, Hamra, and Inshaat are probably the three most expensive neighborhoods in Homs, and that’s why the FSA didn’t get involved in them like the rest of the city, of course with the exception of Inshaat since it’s very close to Baba Amr.

Anyway, the shelling on Ghouta didn’t stop, but the streets were emptied moments after the first explosion and that helped reduce the numbers of the casualties.
News about missiles hitting different buildings in Ghouta, and Al Farooq mosque, but I didn’t go check that out myself as my parents were a bit panicked and they needed me to stay with them.

I received many calls telling me to leave Ghouta and head to Inshaat or Waar or Midan since my family has houses in those areas, but we decided not to move yet. I personally don’t want to leave my house no matter what, but I shouldn’t forget about my family. They need to be some place safe, and that’s why I made a plan. I collected all the important things we have in two bags and got my family ready to move if my street got targeted. I hope that we won’t get forced to leave, but my family’s lives are a top priority to me.

At 8 PM I saw many families leaving my street, they packed their bags and left.
Cellphones stopped working around 9 PM, and it wasn’t a surprise to me or to anyone.
Shelling and shooting kept going all night in many areas but my neighborhood didn’t see much action after 10 PM.

April 5th started like the four previous days, shelling and shooting from many areas started around 6 AM and kept getting closer and louder every hour.

11:30 AM, a taxi rushed into my street and a woman started yelling and crying out loud, and that drew the attention of everyone around including me. A blooded man was taken out of the taxi and a man with a car volunteered to take him to a hospital immediately, so he was moved into the other car which ran quickly with him aboard. I don’t know the name of that man but I know that he’s probably dead now since he was shot in his neck or head as I saw, and the upper half of his body was all covered in his blood.
And since hospitals are being monitored by security forces that would kidnap the injured people, most of the injuries get treated in houses or mosques with primitive equipments, and that’s why most of the seriously injured people die.

After this incident, I saw more families leaving the neighborhood, my building included. Phone calls kept coming asking us to head to Damascus or other areas in Homs, but the situation in most neighborhoods in Homs is similar to ours, as there is no safe street in the city anymore.

Our bags were ready, but none of us wants to leave, especially me. I tried to convince my family to move and leave me here to “take care of the house” but they didn’t buy it.

The Syrian regime said that they’ve started taking their artillery off the cities’ streets. It’s amazing how someone can be this deceiving. Every time they say they’re doing something positive, the exact opposite was being done in reality. I haven’t heard or seen this much shooting and shelling in my life, and the past four days were the worst ones we’ve ever experienced, yet they’re saying that things are getting better and that their forces are leaving.

2012 is a very strange year so far, as every month I say to myself that it’s the worst month ever, then a new month stars and it’s even worse than the one that finished. February was much worse than January, and March was even worse than February, and now I see that April is much worse than March. If things kept going like this, I doubt that I’ll see May.

I left the house around 3 PM and walked around Ghouta and Hamra then visited a friend’s house, and of course he showed me his bullets collection and the holes they left in the house’s walls. We swapped stories from the past two days, and on my way back I saw huge black smoke clouds coming from Al Qusoor area and they were bigger than the ones I saw yesterday. I found an open store and bought some fresh fruits and vegetables in case we get stuck at the house for a while.

The rest of the night was quiet in my area but not in the entire city.

April 6th, as it’s a Friday, security forces did like they do every Friday, occupy the streets and shoot randomly to scare people from even going to the mosques. The shooting and shelling gets increases by the time people leave the mosques so they won’t go in a demonstration.
Around 4 PM, a woman came to our house and said that she’s stuck in my street and can’t go home, she was with a son of hers, and she knew my mother. We let them in, and they told us their story. This woman had two sons, the elder one was killed four days ago in Qusoor, and no one could get close to his body for three whole days, but people in Khaldieh called her yesterday after they were able to get the body off the street, and that they’ll burry him today. She went with her other son at noon to Khaldieh and waited a long time to see him and say goodbye, but she couldn’t as there were many casualties arriving to where she was waiting and security forces didn’t allow the dead bodies to be taken to the cemetery and be buried.
She spent six hours watching dead bodies and limbs waiting for her son’s. Those who retrieved her son’s body came by and told her that they had to bury him yesterday since the body wasn’t in a good shape after being left on the street for three days and that only crushed her more as she couldn’t say goodbye. I believe they did the best for her not letting her see him like that, because I wouldn’t want my mother see me in that shape if I get killed. I would want my mother to remember me as I am now, because the last Image of someone lives in those who see it forever. Now this woman will always remember her son alive and well, not killed and rotten.
We brought them some food and as they were eating they told us that they haven’t had anything to eat in two days. They found a taxi to take them to their house after a while and left.

What we’ve been through is nothing compared to that woman’s story, and her story is nothing compared to other stories we’ve been hearing or seeing.
My mother was very affected by what the woman told us, she cried a lot and got very depressed. And after the woman and her son left, my mother couldn’t think of anything else, and so did I.

We could only hear gunshots every now and then in my area after that, but the sounds of shelling from other areas kept on coming till midnight.

April 7th, the number of casualties in Syria this day was the biggest in April so far, and as we’re getting closer to the date which the government agreed upon to stop the violence, violence was increasing and the attacks are getting worse.
It was difficult to do anything around noon because the shelling and shooting sounds were horrifying and they kept most of us inside.
At night, the shelling sounds were gone, and it was quiet, but suddenly someone started shooting in my street and a man was hit. People ran out to help but they couldn’t get close to him as the shooting continued for a couple of minutes. The shooter then left and some men and a woman (A relative of the injured man) were able to put him in a car and drive off to give him medical care.
A few minutes after they left, the armed man was back shooting every few minutes at random targets, but the streets were completely empty so I doubt that anyone was hurt.

April 8th, we’re having a problem with water as we only got four hours of fresh water in the past four days, and it’s getting worse as it’s starting to feel like summer in here in the past week or so.
The usual shelling was heard clearly in many areas in Homs, and the black smoke clouds that we’ve been seeing since April started are shown as well, and that means Qusoor and Jorat Al Shaiyah are still being targeted.

The Syrian regime started working against Annan’s plan and put obstacles to ruin his mission, but then again we all saw that coming. This is how this regime works. They say something and do the opposite while blaming everyone else for what they’re doing.
The night once again was quiet until 11:30 PM when I heard rapid shooting coming from a far but the shooting sounded like there was a little war in that area.

April 9th, I went to Waar for the first time in months, and I was able to use my cellphones there and check my email. I wonder when we will get the network back in my neighborhood.

The regime attacked a Syrian refugees camp in Turkey killing two refugees at least and harming many others including Turkish policemen. That never happened before and it shows how cocky the regime is these days. They’re not afraid of attacking us in other countries.

The regime hits again and kills a Lebanese cameraman inside Lebanon and harms a couple of his coworkers. This wasn’t the first time the regime kills Lebanese people or trespasses the border, yet no one is doing anything about it.

April 10th, I went to Waar again and did some work there and apparently hurt my back badly somehow. By the time I went home I could barely move from the pain in my back. I couldn’t walk, or sit. Anyway, when I was in Waar I heard missiles being launched from the military school there towards other areas in Homs, which meant that the regime won’t stick to Annan’s plan that says the attacks must be stopped today. I never thought the regime will stick to it anyway.

April 11th, things started to slow down and by the time night came the city was completely quiet with the exception of a gunshot every now and then. The regime promised Annan to ceasefire at 6 AM tomorrow. I have doubt, but I sure am hopeful. This could start a new era of this revolution, an era that we’ve been waiting for a long time.

Steve Jobs and me.

If you're a Steve Jobs fan, or if you've read his Wikipedia page you would know that Steve Jobs's biological father is a Syrian man, and to be specific, from my city, Homs.

His father's family is one of Homs's big families, it's the Jandali family, and since I have relatives from that family, I can say that Steve Jobs was a relative of mine, but that's not what I'm going to talk about in here.

Steve's father fell in love with an American woman and she got pregnant, and since they weren't married and had issues, the Jobs family adopted baby Steve and raised him well.

Now we all know that Steve was the brains in Apple. He is the father of Mac, iPod, iPhone, and iPad, but what you might not know that many people and companies were directly affected by the brilliance of this man.
People like Bill Gates, who created Windows after he supplied Jobs with apps for Mac.
Jobs sued Gates saying that he stole the soul of Mac and made Windows, but that was settled when Jobs dropped the lawsuits against Gates and worked with him on other projects.
No one can deny that Mac was the reason Windows existed, and between Windows and Macs I believe we cover more than 90% of the world's computers.

Then we saw the iPod which was copied by every other company and that's how we have MP3 players.
Then the iPhone was the savior from Dumbphones like Nokia, and the success of the iPhone was the reason Google adopted and developed my precious Android (Yes, I'm an Android fanboy), and those control the Smartphone industry after the death of Black Berry.
Then the iPad showed up, and Google as well followed Apple's steps on making tablets.

After this glimpse of some historical facts, let's see what would've happened if Steve Jobs was raised in Homs Syria, his father's hometown.

First, Steve might've been called Mustafa, and would go to our crappy public schools were his brilliance would've been killed slowly and painfully.
He would've had to get a job at a restaurant to help his father support the family, and then waste the best years of his life following a dream of leaving Syria to study or work in another country, like Saudi Arabia or the UAE.

Now he would've faced one of two choices, he could either go to Saudi Arabia to work for years and send his savings to his family in Syria hoping he could come back to Syria someday after making a fortune that can never really be made, or he could stay in Syria, get a job with a very low income, and live in a cheap house in a cheap area like Baba Amr or Khaldieh, and eventually get killed while the city is being bombed by the military or get arrested for tweeting something about freedom

That means there would be no Mac, Windows, iPod, MP3 players, iPhone, Android, Windows Mobile, iPad, or any other tablet, Smartphone, or decent computer or software. Steve Jobs didn't live in Syria and didn't face these challenges we're facing.

His brilliance affected every single one of us and changed the world to a better place. How many Steve Jobs could my city and my country bring to the world? How many Steve Jobs have been killed by Assad's army in the past 41 years?

Steve Jobs is half Syrian, so we know for a fact that Syrians can do great things if they got the chance. I hope that the next Steve Jobs gets the chance of a decent education were his brilliance can be discovered in his hometown, in Homs, in Syria.

Chapter Nine: Bloody anniversary

It's March 15th 2012. One year ago today was the star of the Syrian revolution.
The regime cancelled a holiday today so they can force workers and students to go out in a pro Assad march in a couple of cities.
They failed organizing one in Homs, Hama, Idleb, Daraa and other cities.
Demos went out in many areas in Homs and Assad's forces attacked many of them and left casualties.

I was very depressed all day and couldn't watch the news for more than five minutes because all news is bad news. All the world is doing is talk, and that helps no one.
All types of internet connection got disabled once again yesterday after ADSL and Dial Up worked for two days or less.
3G is still disabled since early February cellphones networks are still down as well.

March 16th, a peaceful demo started in my neighborhood and Assad's forces attacked it after 30 minutes. Exactly at 1:22 PM, I heard a sound of a bomb exploding and it caused my house to shake, and news came about an ex soldier who attacked one of two BTR vehicles with that bomb killing a security forces member and harming others, and the second BTR shot him dead and went crazy. They started attacking everything that moves and shooting at the houses. People started running because they weren't warned about the Assad forces coming since cellphones are still not working.
The attack continued for more than thirty minutes and I believe some protestors got hurt. Assad's security forces stayed for a while and kept on shooting randomly after the streets got empty.

I went out to the balcony and found eight new bullet holes in the walls, and the holes weren't close to each other, I collected the bullets and took some photos.
This proves the randomness of the shooting Assad's forces are doing. If someone was standing there when the shooting took place we could've lost them for no reason at all.

March 17th, I received confirmations that at least three civilians were killed in the shooting near my house the previous day, and one of them was a relative of mine.

I spent the day reading Bashar Assad's leaked emails and hating him and his family more and more. His wife and her family are as guilty as him. He's playing tennis, and his wife is spending loads of our stolen money on shoes while his forces are killing us.

News from Damascus about hearing shooting sounds in Arnoos square in the middle of Damascus. I called someone who lives there and they confirmed the news.

March 19th, the sounds of shelling are back since early morning. I went out and all the main streets and squares in Homs were completely empty. I found a couple of opened stores in two neighborhoods but the center of the city was all shut down and empty. It has been this way for weeks or even months.

I received a phone call from Mazzeh in Damascus and they confirmed the news about hearing explosions and shooting sounds all night last night in places I am very familiar with. They couldn't tell me exactly what happened but they could hear the sounds very clearly till this morning.

Around 5:30 PM, a security forces vehicle rushed into my street and started shooting randomly for a couple of seconds then moved on to another street where it did the same thing even though there was no demo or anything happening anywhere near this area.

March 20th, I didn't get any sleep for the sounds of shelling and shooting started right before I go to bed in the early morning hours and continued until noon. The explosion sounds came from at least three different areas.

I went out in the afternoon and most of the stores were closed and most of the streets were empty, but that's nothing new since we've been living like this since early February.

Shelling continues as we got a phone call from a relative who lives in Bayada saying that they had to evacuate their houses after Assad's forces announced that they don't guarantee the safety of those who stay in their houses.

Large groups of people took what they can and left their houses to Assad's destruction machine. This happened before in Inshaat in February, but the difference is that Bayada is a poor neighborhood unlike Inshaat, so the purpose of evacuating the houses isn't stealing goods but the destruction of the anti Assad demonstration base in there.

Around seven O'clock later that night we lost electricity, knowing that water was lost a few hours before that, and the loss of electricity lasted all night and until noon of the next day.

The rest of the night was quiet but we all had a fear in our hearts that the electricity and water will not be available for days like we experienced earlier this month.

March 21st, it's Mother's Day in Syria today, but all the good presents are taken as many mothers lost their sons or their babies in the past year, many mothers lost their homes, and all is left is sadness. What will I give my mother on this day? I find it hard to even say "Happy Mother's Day" since there is nothing happy about it anymore.

Water and electricity are back around noon as I said earlier and that sure brightened our day, I can take a shower and watch the news. Oh the joy.

March 22nd, my cellphone is getting a signal, I tried to make an international call but got disconnected. A couple of minutes later I get a call on it and a couple of texts, then I tried to check my email via GPRS and it worked. I read a couple of emails and checked my twitter after about 45 days of being offline. My 3G number is still not working, and since I didn't have much credit on my regular phone I couldn't stay online for long. Hoping for this "No Internet No Cellphones" phase to be finished soon and never come back.

People in many areas in Homs are leaving their homes after Assad Forces tell them to, and that what made a neighborhood like mine get filled with people, many families are living in each house, and even the public schools are inhabited now. Families are living in classrooms in such bad weather.

This has been going for way too long. More than a year and things are still getting worse. There seems to be a sniper located in one of the buildings in Ghouta and people are scared of crossing the streets in one of the safest areas in Homs. No area is safe anymore.

I tried to check my email before I went to bed but cellphones were disconnected again, and I wasn't surprised by that.

March 23rd, sounds of violent shelling are coming from Khaldieh and other areas in Homs since the early morning.
My neighborhood is quiet. Shooting sounds could be heard every now and then but nothing serious is going on in here today unlike last Friday.
The streets are empty and all stores are closed, there was no demonstration or anything since Assad forces were roaming the streets every few minutes.

March 24th, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning because of the horrible sounds outside.
Shelling and bombing not far away from my house kept going for hours and increased between 6 and 7 AM. The old city is taking most of the shelling today and Khaldieh comes in second.

I received a phone call from Inshaat and they told me that they can hear mass shooting from Baba Amr but no explosions.

A group of Assad's security forces accompanied with a vehicle attacked places in Ghouta between 6:30 and 7:00 PM for no reason. They came, did some random shooting and then left. All streets were completely empty a while before they came. This has become a usual thing in here, and sometimes people get hurt by the random shooting while they're at their balconies or near a window.

March 25th, last year today I joined my first demonstration, filmed my first video, and took my first beating. I cannot believe it has been a year already. I still recall what happened like it was yesterday. Assad's forces made sure I don't forget this day as they started shooting in my street exactly at 2:10 AM, and they kept going till 5 when they changed things and started a missile attack around my area. I could hear the missiles being launched and hitting their target which isn't far away from my house since my house was shaking badly every time. I stayed in bed even though I couldn't sleep, and so did my family. There is nothing we can do even if a missile hits our house so we'd better act like there's nothing going on.
We don't panic anymore, we don't even talk about it. The shelling continued and got more aggressive between 6:30 and 7 AM, and the sounds of mass shooting could be heard after every two or three missiles. I don't know what kind of artillery they're using and it doesn't really matter since the damage is happening anyway.
I'm not certain of the targets they're hitting, and I don't think even the ones launching the missiles know more than I do. It all looks so random to me; the targets, the timing, everything.

Things started slowing down after 9 AM, and there was no mention of what happened in my area on any news channel but that isn't strange since most of what happens in here never gets mentioned anyway. That is a small example of how things in Syria are much worse than anybody sees on TV. Even the best news channels can't cover half of what's really going on.

I went out around 1 PM and people told me stories about the new sniper in the area. They told me about two guys who have been shot yesterday and they showed me some cars that have been targeted.
I went as close as I could without being spotted by the sniper and saw a car coming my way, and that's when he opened fire on the car. Broken glass shattered but the driver wasn't hit and he stepped in it and saved himself but the sniper kept shooting for a couple of seconds. Few minutes later, he opened fire again but this time I didn't see who he was targeting as he can see more than one street from the building he's occupying.

All the main streets were all empty and stores were closed like always. I found some opened stores in narrow streets and bought some food, which has become really expensive. For example: A kilo of sugar is worth 90 pounds while it was 65 a month ago.

Some security forces have been walking the streets of my area and shooting randomly every 30 minutes or so, that is both new and very dangerous. I heard at least five death announcements today, all were young men and all were martyrs.

Death has become a part of our everyday life.

March 27th, my phone is working and MTN sent me a text message asking for money even though they have disabled all communications in my city for about 50 days. I got the chance to check my email and twitter that day.

Bashar Assad was visiting Baba Amr, and I believed that this was the reason we have a working internet connection and cellphones network. The day was quiet but some shooting could be heard from many areas at times, and two families were killed in Baba Amr after Assad left since they refused to go out and cheer for him, news said.

March 28th, I woke up at 7 AM and left the house at 7:30. I found a taxi cab and asked him to take me to the bus station where I can take a bus to Damascus.

The reason why I was heading to Damascus is to withdraw some money since banks have been closed since early February and ATM machines are all empty and we have no money left. The taxi driver asked for 400 Syrian pounds as he was going to take me through a long way since the usual way is filled with snipers and is unsafe to use for months. I agreed and he started driving. The first security check point stopped us while we were heading to Al Waar area (New Homs) and they checked our IDs, then a second point, then a third point which had a tank in it and it was close to the military hospital, and a fourth and last check point near the station. I then took a bus and off I went to Damascus.

I haven't left Homs since September of 2011, so I was looking forward for this trip, especially since we had no decent internet connection working in Homs and I had things to send and publish. On my way to Damascus I saw nine military vehicles; one of them was a truck with a huge machine gun in its back. I never saw such a gun before and I have no idea what it's called.

The road to Damascus is filled with Bashar Assad pictures, quotes and some security barriers. The city itself was filled with security and military members everywhere. I went to Kafarsuseh, Mazzeh, Arnoos, and many other areas to see how things are over there, and everything was quiet. The streets weren't as crowded as they used to be and some of them had barriers and check points.

I withdrew some money, went online for an hour or so, had a cup of coffee and headed back to Homs. Before I arrive to the city of Homs, my phone lost connection and that's when I knew that cellphones networks were down again, but I was expecting this since Assad left the city.

I was dizzy and sick from the trip since the buses were horrible so I went to bed hearing the sounds of shooting and shelling that I haven't missed at all.

March 29th, I woke up to the same sounds I was hearing as I went to bed last night, and when I got up I found out that the electricity was off. I went out and bought some food and supplies since I got money now, and went back home.
The electricity was back so I decided to write a piece on Steve Jobs, one of the most famous people my city gave the world. Later that night I saw a relative of mine on one of the famous news channels talking about the Syrian situation and what he said was great. I was glad to finally see someone from my family saying what he wants out loud and using his real name. Hoping someday I could do the same without the fear of getting tortured or killed.

March 30th, like every Friday, security forces started the shelling and shooting before the prayer and occupied some place which made it very hard for us to go out in a demonstration since it would be attacked within moments of its start. Assad's forces did come and open fire anyway but since there was no demonstration, no one was hurt in my area.
News about more people getting killed by snipers all over the city kept coming, and most of their bodies couldn't be moved since snipers target anyone trying to get close. Some corpses spent four days in some areas and I knew one of them. The parents of the man I knew made calls and talked to many of those in charge to be allowed to get their son's dead body of the street, but no one could help.
Some streets have been taken hostage by Pro Assad snipers and some areas were turned into death traps.

At night I got a call from a friend who used to live in Inshaat telling me that the land line phone in their home have been taken by the military when they occupied the house back in February and that they won't give it back. I bet that the phone company will still collect the bill from my friend's family anyway. I also got confirmations about security forces raiding houses in Al Waar area, arresting people and searching for weapons and FSA members.

March 31st, the last day of this month was similar to any day of the past two weeks. No cellphones, no internet, shelling, shooting, and house raiding. More people are leaving the city every day in an attempt to survive. Water and electricity come and go. The world is still watching us suffer and no one is ready to do anything about it but talk. How can a man keep his faith in such dark times? How can I remain optimistic? How much more can we take?

Chapter Eight: 2012 feels like 1812.

Two days left in this horrible month, and I can easily say that this is the worst month in the history of the city of Homs.
The worst part is that no matter how bad the situation got, it can always get worse, and that's exactly what happened.

February 28th, I woke up to the unbelievable shelling sounds from all around Homs at 5 AM, it continued all morning and was on a new level as I could clearly hear the sounds of 4-5 missiles being launched every few seconds. Bab Al Sibaa is being targeted more than ever today.

At noon, there were news about Special Forces heading to Homs, and that's when people panicked and went out to get some food and supplies in case we get trapped in our houses again.

The shelling sounds were so loud children were screaming in horror while they're inside their houses.

I went out and took a small tour and saw some new security forces barriers near what used to be the Cultural Center and many other places.

1 PM, water has been turned off from the city

2:30 PM, shelling continues as I'm trying to call my friends and relatives in different areas but phones aren't working properly. Cellphones and internet are still cut off Homs, international calls as well.

3 PM, the attack on Homs is getting worse by the minute now, vicious shelling sounds are all over the city, and rapid shooting everywhere.
I believe this is the worst attack we've seen yet.

4 PM, a blackout happened in Al Waar area and is spreading towards other areas

7 PM, we lost electricity

10 PM, electricity is gone in Inshaat, Hamra, Ghouta, and many other areas.
Darkness has spread all over the city So now in Homs most areas don't have water, electricity, cellphone networks, or internet.

The weather is bad, and food, gas, and diesel are very short. I made some calls (Land lines are still making local calls only) and found out that Homs might not have any water or electricity for days.

At that moment I had one question in my head: Are we still considered humans?

February has been a very rough month on everyone in Homs, the lack of communications in all neighborhoods was very hard on us, and electricity's been coming and going like water, but when this government cut all that's necessary for us to survive, that can only mean that they believe we don't deserve to live anymore.

We're not people to them, we're sheep. No, not sheep, since sheep get water all the time and we don't. To this regime, we're nothing.

I went to bed that night and a storm was in the making outside, and it woke me up around 4 AM when I heard sounds of stuff falling from balconies because of the vicious wind. Like life isn't hard enough already, now the government and Mother Nature are working against us once again. Terrific.

February 29th, still no water, electricity, cellphone network, internet, gas, or dignity. We have some water in storage as well as food and that helped very much, but we had the worst urge to hear the news, so I called a friend in Inshaat and he told me that electricity is back in there, so he read the news for me and told me about 106 casualties, and the attack on Baba Amr.

We used half of the water we have in the past 24 hours, and we started using less and less to save the rest. We only use plastic plates, spoons, and cups so we don't use water to wash the dishes, and we don't even make coffee or tea. We only drink when we're thirsty.

It started snowing outside, and depression was never so deep in our spirits.
Time was going slowly, and the food we keep in the fridge got defrosted and will soon get ruined.

March 1st, my favorite month started white, snow covered everything and like the two previous days, water, electricity, cellphones, internet were all cut off, and that's when we started thinking like cave people.
We took the food from the fridge, and we gathered snow in our balcony and put all the food in there so it can last longer.

Those who used all the water they have started collecting and melting snow. I never thought this might happen in the 21st century.

Assad and his gang belong to the dark ages, just like Mubarak, Gaddafi, and all dictators.

Baba Amr fell in the hands of Assad forces after 27 days of shelling, bombing, and shooting. As sad as this news was, I wondered if this will bring some peace to the city as people are tired of this siege that has been going on since the beginning of February. Food, medicine, and supplies are short everywhere.

My personal news: I woke up with a horrible ear pain and I couldn't get a hold of any doctors in my city, so I took some pain killers but they didn't do me any good. I'm a bit worried but there's nothing I can do as long as I'm in Homs. The siege was by both, Assad's forces and snow.

Around 2 PM, we got electricity back after 43 hours but we still got no water.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to live with limited water?

3:30 PM, after two days of nearly complete quietness in my neighborhood, the sounds of nearby shelling are back
The shelling sounds continued all night but they weren't as close or as frequent as they were back in February, I guess Baba Amr took the most of their fury.

March 2nd, electricity seemed so useless with the absence of water, it's been three days now and we're running out of it, only 150 liters left from the 1000 liters we had, we used 850 liters since the water was cut off and what's left cannot serve for more than a day at best.
What do humans do without water? They die.

Cellphones and internet aren't working for the 26th day, and I'm trying to find ways to get online but can't find any. I tried to connect through another city but the lines gave me a busy signal, then I tried to get an international Dial Up line, but all international calls have been disabled for more than a week now.

I called a friend of mine in Damascus and asked him to search for a method for me to get online and am still waiting for his reply.

Three demos happened in my neighborhood today, none of them were big and I didn't join any. My ear is still hurting me, but I wore a wool hat, and covered myself up well and went out for a couple of minutes. It was very cold outside, and very dark.

The streets were empty and the sounds of shelling could be heard every few seconds coming from afar, and shooting from nearby as well. I heard someone calling me from the darkness and couldn't see who it was, they told me not to be scares, but I wasn't anyway.

I walked towards the voice and found a member of the security forces, he was wearing his uniform and holding his rifle and standing behind a wall. He asked me what I wanted and why I was there, and then he told me not to walk in that area at night and to be careful. He was nice to me and he even offered me some water if I didn't have any at home. I asked him what he thinks will happen next, he hesitated to answer, but it was obvious what he was trying to say. He mumbled something about Libya and Egypt, and that was enough. He's a good guy, but he was too scared to leave his barrier and join the free army. I asked him if he needed a place to stay in and I was hinting that I can help him leave Assad forces, but he didn't answer. I walked away from him without saying another word. I wish I could protect him, but I can't even protect myself. Free Syrian Army is made of good people, but they're not well funded, or organized. They're losing ground in Baba Amr like they did in Zabadani earlier this year, and there's nothing I can do to help.

March 3rd, fourth day without a drop of fresh water. Most people don't have drinking water anymore and are buying what they can find. We do have water to drink for the next two or three days, but as you know that's not the only water we, humans, need. I haven't taken a shower in four days. I haven't made a teapot in four days. Hell, I haven't flushed the toilet properly in four days.

Thousands have been killed, neighborhoods have been destroyed, babies have been slaughtered, tens of thousands have been arrested, hundreds have been tortured, and cities have been attacked with heavy artillery, no cellphones, no internet, no international calls, no salaries, no electricity, and no water. All this because we demanded freedom. Is freedom worth all this? My answer is yes. Yes. Now more than ever.

The night was extremely quiet and that helped me get a good night of sleep for the first time in days.

March 4th, Fifth day without fresh water. My best friend called me and told me that his neighborhood has water and asked me if I wanted any, so I took some empty containers and went to get water. 45 liters of water is better than nothing.

While I was waiting for the containers to be filled I felt like I am in one of those poor African villages we see on TV, where people walk miles to get fresh water and carry it on their heads, except here it's cold, and I put the water containers in the car instead of on the top of my head and drove. So yeah, our situation is still a bit better than them, since we're not starving yet, but hey, we'll get there sooner than later. I drove around after I got the water and saw some security barriers but didn't get close to any of them, and I saw a huge line of cars waiting to get some fuel, security forces were checking their IDs and not giving them all the fuel they want.

I got home and phone calls about water coming to different areas kept on coming, good for them, we're still waiting. We still need water because all of the water we have left can only be enough for drinking and nothing else. In the afternoon, we finally got water (using one of those blue water motor things), hallelujah.

Five full days without water, now let's wash the dishes, take a shower, and maybe cook something. We spent the past five days eating canned food with plastic spoons. No vegetables since we couldn't wash them and no cooking since we didn't want to get the cookers dirty.

We get to have real food and fresh water today, oh how blessed we are, thanks to our great government. Of course I'm being sarcastic here.

The joy of getting fresh water didn't last long as it was cut off again less than three hours after they turned it on, but those hours were enough for my family for showering, doing the laundry, and washing the huge pile of dirty dishes and spoons that has been waiting in the sink for five days, we also filled enough water for five or six days, just in case.

After five days of waiting we got two and a half hours of water, I honestly didn't expect more, because having water is a privilege in Homs these days, and electricity is luxury, giving us more water would spoil us.

Please excuse my constant sarcastic remarks, I am just trying to show how pathetic life in Homs really is. I saw people collecting rain water to use in the past five days, and worse, I heard of people saving the water they used in their showers, laundry, and dish washing and using it in their toilets since they couldn't flush using the water they saved for drinking.

Most houses in most neighborhoods in Homs smelled like poo for the last couple of days since people couldn't flush their toilets.
I'm very glad that my family is made of three adults only. Having large numbers of people or having kids is a serious problem in such situations.

The responsibility is unbearable, to take care of your family, to provide water, food, and supplies. Especially since most of us don't work or make money anymore.

March 5th, we got more fresh water and electricity is still working, but cellphones and internet aren't.
The last time I checked my email or tweeted was on February 5th, exactly a month ago, and we still don't have international calls, but since we can still make local calls, we found a way to contact our relatives outside the country.
We call someone in Damascus or Aleppo and they call the relatives outside via Skype and leave the PC and phone's speakers on. It's not a good quality call but it's better than nothing. Some people figured out a way to get dial up connection in Homs but it didn:t work for me.

My relatives went to Inshaat and checked their house that have been occupied since early February, they did go once before but they couldn't stay long or do anything since there was a tank and a bunch of security forces waiting for them to leave, they went today and did some cleaning and they took some pictures and videos before they cleaned anything.
The amount of garbage they found inside their house in unbelievable, and they noticed a few things they didn't notice before, more things went missing from the house, electric devices and valuable decorations.
They came by and told us what they saw but I couldn't get a copy of the videos yet. Security barrier in Inshaat didn't let any men in since the morning, they only let women get inside, but they changed that after a couple of hours.

March 7th, a relative of mine was kidnapped in Homs and the kidnappers asked for a security forces member who has been caught by the free Syrian army in return. With this man, the number of the people I somewhat know and have been kidnapped became 13. Only four of them are back so far. We get news about more people getting kidnapped every day and the authorities won't do anything about it since their families are the ones who are doing all the kidnapping.
Shooting could be heard every few hours but I haven't heard any shelling in a while.

March 11th, cellphones worked for about two hours and got disconnected again. Shelling sounds have been back for a few days from three or four different areas in Homs. Red Crescent vehicles have been delivering food and supplies to some neighborhoods and people in my area started collecting donations for those who came from Baba Amr and other places.

March 12, shelling sounds gets louder in the early morning hours then news about two massacres in my city. What was confirmed to me is this: Tens of bodies were found in two areas in Homs, they were all women and children, and they were viciously raped then killed. Some of them were slaughtered, and some were burned alive, and the rest got tortured and killed by breaking their necks after breaking their arms or legs.
Security Council still can't even condemn what's happening in Syria because of Russia, and the rest of the world is watching. The war on terrorism stops at the Syrian border and Assad's terrorist forces are supported with weapons and money from Russia and Iran.

I wonder what will Russia do when this blows up in its face like what happened with the USA after they helped terrorists in Afghanistan against the Soviets.

I went out and toured some areas of the city and saw some cars that have been shot at and smashed by tanks. Most cars in Inshaat got smashed by Tanks or blown off by Assad forces in February. I took some photos of some of the cars I saw and will publish them when I get internet connection.
Speaking of it, many people called me and told me that their ADSL and Dial Up are working since yesterday after more than a month of getting cut off the entire city. My 3G isn't working and I couldn't find any open internet cafe's anywhere near my house so I will wait more. I didn�t go to a friend's house to get online because it's not worth risking my life for.

I saw Kofi Annan shaking Bashar Assad's hand in Damascus while Assad's forces killing us in Homs and wondered how could Kofi shake his hand when it's covered with innocent blood? How could he smile while talking to him when his forces are raping our women and torturing our children?

Chapter Seven: Is there anybody out there?

February 6th, I woke up early because of the sounds of the now usual bombing, shelling, and shooting.
I picked up my cellphone but it didn't work. I tried my over phone, it didn't work either. I checked my dad's phone which works on a different network, still nothing.
My mom told me that the land line is dead as well. Okay' Something's up.

A few hours later, the sounds of shelling and shooting were getting closer and closer.

Many people I know left their houses in Inshaat and Hamra and went someplace else. At 11:30 AM, the phone rang, and that's how I knew that the land line is back working, but the cellphones were still dead.

I went out and all stores were closed, all streets were empty, and people were hiding. I didn't see or hear an ambulance anywhere.

1 PM, the shelling sounds were so clear I was actually worried that our house might get hit, so we evacuated the rooms with a street view.

3 PM: News from Inshaat, Assad's forces broke into the evacuated houses and occupied them including the houses of the people I know. Some buildings near Qibaa mosque have been hit badly.

6 PM: After calling the occupied house's phone several times (and getting a busy signal which means the security forces' members were making phone calls) they actually picked up and talked to us. The owner of the house asked them: "How are things?" the speaking soldier replied with: "Shitty".

If people didn't leave their homes, we could've read some horrifying numbers of casualties from Baba Amr and Inshaat.

The rest of the night was horrible, very close shooting and shelling, and our house was shaking badly especially after 3 AM.

February 7th, still no cellphones or internet, add to that, no electricity. Lavrov, the head of the Russian diplomacy, is in Damascus while Homs is being attacked viciously with.. Russian weapons.

I left the house and walked in the neighborhood after things started to quiet down a bit, and I saw a demonstration happening. It was so cold, so dangerous, yet the demo continued.
How brave are those young men I saw.

The owner of the occupied house made some calls trying to get the soldiers and security forces out of his house, but the answer was: "These aren't soldiers or security forces, these are terrorists. Syrian soldiers and security forces would never occupy a house".
The owner replied with: "I am 100% sure that they are security forces and I want them out".

After some more calls, they told him to talk to a man in charge of things like this in Homs, but that man said that he isn't going to leave his house and go help with this situation as he's afraid of driving in Inshaat.

4 PM: The shelling and shooting sounds has stopped, and a second demo was in the making.

6 PM: A third demo. Wow. Too bad there is no internet connection to go live on TV.

6:30 PM: News from the owner of the occupied house owner: Dunia TV is in Inshaat, music is being played, and many strangers showed up and started dancing in front of the occupied houses and thanking the military for "freeing the area from the terrorists".

I called people who live in that area and they told me they don't know anyone of the dancing people or how they got there. So now the mystery of the people thanking the military on Dunia TV finally made sense.
They occupy the area after the people leave to save their lives, then the security forces tell Dunia TV which brings the Pro Assad people to do this charade.

6:44 PM: My friend called me from another part of Inshaat. He said that they had no electricity all day today, and that they couldn't leave the house for six days. They're running low on food and supplies but they can manage.
I told him the news that he missed about the Arab Gulf countries shutting down their embassies in Syria and kicking the Syrian ambassadors out, and that Turkey has a plan to help with Syria, and finally that Assad told Lavrov about the new constitution that his people write, and that's when my friend interrupted me laughing and he said: "Who cares?". True. Who cares indeed.

February 8th, waking up to the shelling and shooting sounds has become normal by now, and these sounds didn't stop until noon. I went out to buy some bread but I couldn't find any.

On my way home, I joined a demonstration near my house, and I think I was the oldest one in it, as most of the protestors were 16-22. It ended peacefully as the security forces had their hands full in other neighborhoods like Baba Amr and Inshaat.
Still no internet or cellphones. Food shortage kicks in.

9 PM: News from Inshaat that Assad forces evacuated many of the houses they occupied two days ago, someone visited the house I previously talked about and was too shocked to describe what he saw. He said that they took everything light or expensive and ruined what's left. He said he can't put words into what he saw but that it was horrible. I will try to go tomorrow and check it myself, if I can.

The rest of the night was somewhat quiet in my neighborhood, but the shelling and shooting continued in many other places.
There's nothing I can do to help. That fact is eating me up inside.

February 9th, I woke up to the sounds of the daily shelling, bombing, and shooting. When will this end? I saw that trucks of food (Bread, vegetables, fruits, eggs..) have arrived to the stores in my area, so I went out with my father to buy some since we didn't have much left. I made a small tour around Hamra, Ghouta, and Malaab, and I saw many people heading to the opened stores to buy groceries like I was.

The stores were almost empty and closed before 2 PM. I couldn't find many things I needed like meat, chicken, rice, etc. I however got potatoes and eggs. Better than nothing. One thought came to my mind and stuck there: Many of my friends and relatives can't get any type of food.

I called a friend in Inshaat and he told me that electricity was still off for the third day in a raw, and that they have no vegetables or bread left. He tried to go out to find some food but he found a missile launcher within 100 meters of his place, so he went back without getting anything. His neighbors however had some extra bread which they shared. Good people still exist everywhere, and that's how we're surviving.

On my way home, I heard a demo going, but I couldn't join since I had a handful of stuff, so I went home and stayed there. The cellphone networks were still down, along with any kind of internet connection. I tried Dial Up, ADSL, 3G, and GPRS.

Nothing is working for the fourth day, yet news can be carried out since land lines were working in many areas, but the only news I heard were bad news. More than 100 were killed in my city and it's only 6 PM. Tomorrow's Friday. If there were demos in Homs, that can only mean one thing: Bashar Assad failed, again. In the past week, he has tried everything he's got.

No connection, no electricity, no food, no services, and an unbelievably vicious attack on the city. He killed hundreds a day, he used tanks, missiles, machine guns, and bombs.
He's got nothing else to do. If a big demo happens tomorrow, Assad should declare his defeat and hang himself. He would do so if he had even one bit of decency in him, but we all know by now that he doesn't have that. Let's wait for tomorrow and see what's gonna happen in my city, or shall I say, in what's left of my city.

February 10th - 14th: The sounds of shelling and shooting almost never stops, cellphones worked for an hour or so on the 13th, still no internet, and electricity comes and goes.
Two demonstrations joined in and made a decent one in Ghouta on February 10th despite the bad weather and the shelling sounds coming from not far away, but it ended at 1:35 PM after Assad forces opened fire on us. Later that night I saw four Red Crescent vehicles including an ambulance, along with a food truck possibly heading to Khaldieh.

News from Baba Amr is horrible as most buildings were hit by Assad forces and hundreds were killed, entire families.

Inshaat isn't better as Assad forces evacuated most of the houses there and started robbing them clean. After they took what they can, they burnt the rest. I still cannot go there to take videos or photos because Assad forces are still there. They live in the houses before they take and ruin everything.

Ghouta and Hamra are better, some shops are open and there is bread and food, and even electricity. The shelling gets close sometimes and the buildings start shaking, but nothing was hit directly as far as I know.
Assad forces however do shoot from time to time at cars and houses, leaving broken glass and some destruction on their way. Garbage has become a serious health issue as the garbage men didn't work in weeks and the garbage spread all over the streets and sidewalks. A group of young men did a very selfless and nice gesture on the 14th when they took care of the garbage in my neighborhood. They collected them all and took them someplace else.
Khaldieh is still under attack, but I couldn't get too close to it because of the security forces barriers.

February 15th, our revolution is 11 months old today, and the vicious attack on Homs continued on its 11th day. Idleb and Hama aren't much better, Zabadani as well. The regime is doing what he's done in Homs all over Syria.

A new constitution is ready and a plebiscite should take place in 11 days. How silly is this play they're acting? How are we supposed to go vote or even care about a new constitution when we can barely survive? Maybe my city and the cities in which the revolution ignited aren't a part of Syria anymore. God damn you Assad.

A huge black smoke cloud spread all over the sky of Homs today, for the third time since our movement began. The regime is wasting the diesel and gas which we, the people, desperately need. The prices of diesel and gas -when they're found- are through the roof.

A thought sneaked into my head as I'm typing. Why am I still typing? Will I get the chance to publish this? Will I get an internet connection any time soon? Will I survive till then?

February 16th, looks like we made it through the night. Last night was so horrid I honestly thought it was going to be my last.

There was a rain storm, and the explosion sounds got mixed with thunder and thunderbolts and I couldn't tell which is which for a while. I left my bed in panic after a very scary sound, but then I went back in. I realized that whatever will happen, will happen. No matter where I was. I went back in bed, closed my eyes, and prepared myself mentally that I won't survive that night. I wasn't afraid after that. The shelling continued all night and until noon, but the storm passed when morning came. We survived to live another day.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is thinking this way in Homs.

The United Nations approved a resolution against the Syrian regime, 137 countries agreed, 12 voted against. Reading the names of the countries who voted against the resolution gave me endless pleasure. Cuba, Iran, North Korea, Belarus, Venezuela, China, and other countries ruled by dictators, with the addition of Russia.
It's good to see Russia putting itself in this list, the list of shame, the list of dictatorships.

The Syrian regime has only 11 friends left in the world, and most of them if not all of them are made of assholes and dictators like Assad himself.
I said before that I wish to see a Southern America Spring, and an Asian Spring, the people of those 11 countries, and some more, should move soon and see the light of freedom. Freedom for all.

February 17th, the morning of this day was an extension to last night, an extra dose of shelling and pouring rain didn't stop a demo from happening. It obviously didn't last long and couldn't be streamed live since we still have no internet connection since the 6th.
I couldn't join this demo since I've got the flu and am staying in bed most of the time.

Electricity was cut off and back on a couple of times today, and still no cellphone coverage. I look back at the past two weeks and think, what the world prevented in Benghazi Libya is now happening in Homs Syria, and the world didn't do anything about it. Gaddafi moved his army to occupy the capital of the Libyan revolution but was stopped by the Security Council, they all worked before he reached Benghazi and saved thousands of lives there, but they let Assad's forces and heavy artillery arrive to Homs and destroy many neighborhoods in the city.
They say that things are different, the only thing that's different is the volume of oil. If Syria had enough oil, the world wouldn't just watch Syrians get killed. That's how I see it.

Going through the night, the shelling sounds decreased but thunder got louder, and around 9 PM, it started raining hailstones, the biggest ones I've ever seen, a while after came the freezing wind and snow, when midnight came I could barely hear any shooting coming from afar, I'm not sure if it stopped completely because I couldn't tell since thunder got so loud and frequent. I went out to the balcony and a snowstorm was getting closer.
After midnight, all I could hear or see outside was the snowstorm, it covered everything else, and snow kept coming and freezing wind as well.

Thunder was very scary, not that I get scared from it usually, but since we've been experiencing the sounds of shelling and bombing for months now and that became the only thing we think of when hearing such loud noises. I jumped off my bed a couple of times thinking we're being bombed or something.

Fear of thunder, add that to the list of things I should sue Bashar Assad over.
What a huge list this has become. It has everything, from genocide, destruction of cities, kidnapping, torture, stealing billions, to stuff like losing my phone's extra battery while running away from a security force vehicle after a demo and the lack of chicken in my fridge.

February 18th, freezing wind, rain and snow, shooting sounds from afar, no shelling in my neighborhood or anywhere near it since last night, my heart and prayers are with those who had to leave their homes in such weather, and there are many of them.

Bad news kept coming from Baba Amr and Inshaat. Baba Amr, or what's left of it, is still being bombed all day, every day. How can people who are still there survive is beyond me. God help them, God help us all.

I saw footage from Damascus earlier today, from Mazzeh highway to be exact, I recognized that area immediately as it's my favorite highway in Syria, so I called someone I know who lives in there, and he confirmed that thousands went in a big demo for the third day in a raw.
Finally, the rest of Damascus is joining in. Hello! Aleppo! Is there anybody out there?

February 19th, it's a quiet day in my neighborhood, people in the streets shopping. After what happened in Khaldieh earlier this month, we now are afraid of such quiet days cause they usually get followed by horrible ones. Still no internet or cellphone networks.

February 20th, I woke up at 6 AM, went to get some bread while hearing the noises from afar, shelling is back but it isn't very close to us, from Baba Amr and Inshaat I believe.
There were more than 120 men and women waiting in line to get bread, but that's not unusual anymore. I got some bread and went home, it was 8 AM. Yes, It took me an hour and a half to get some bread. Anyway, it's freezing cold and somewhat quiet around my neighborhood still, so I decided to take a tour around the city and check things out.

I dressed heavily, put my earphones on with some rock music, tried to forget the fact that Homs is filled with tanks and snipers, and started the tour.

I went to the old clock square, some stores were open and people were shopping there too, only basic stuff could be found. I stopped at a place where I found something interesting. Some old gadgets made their way back into today's market, stuff that my grandfather used to own and his father before him. What I found was the good old oil light thing.

You know the thing that has a long bulb and a glass oil container under it, with a wick that can be lit with a match to get light! I don't know what it's called but I know that I haven't seen one in more than 20 years. People are adjusting to the lack of electricity. Oh boy.

Of course, that area around the Old Clock's square is filled with security forces, many vehicles and sand bags, and even sand barrels. Some of the streets were closed with cement barriers. I continued my tour but didn't go towards Khaldieh, instead I went to Old Homs, Hamidyeh and Bustan Al Diwan, and things were quiet there too. I then went to Freedom Square which had security forces around it and I couldn't find any open store in that area at that hour.

I then went to Ghouta then Hamra were everything was quiet and no sign of security forces. I didn't go into Inshaat because I was warned that security forces were still all over it, they're still living in the houses they emptied and are still stealing and destroying everything they find. Baba Amr is far from me and the war there didn't stop since February 6th. I went home after this and since there was still no internet or cellphone networks working, I knew that the war on my city isn't over yet, and that this is just a temporary situation, and I was correct as when night came, everything changed. The shelling is back and the shooting as well.

Later that night, a bunch of Assad forces came to my neighborhood around 2 AM and started shooting randomly, and I assure you that the streets were empty. I was awake and saw the whole thing.
The neighborhood was dead quiet, the streets were completely empty and it was very cold and dark outside, that's when they came.
Their vehicle didn't make the loud explosion noises it usually does, they stopped in the middle of the street and started shooting in the air and into other streets, they stayed for a few minutes then left.

I continued my night like this never happened. I made a cup of tea and watched the news. It seems like I too am used to this situation. I didn:t see this one coming.

February 21st, this morning wasn't like the two mornings before it. Heavy shelling and massive explosions were happening every 15 seconds or so. The sounds were so heavy and recurrent like I've never witnessed before.

I went out and walked around but nothing was happening in my neighborhood and it was completely empty.
I went back to bed since it was cold but I didn't sleep because of the horrible sounds outside. I got up and saw the news, 24 were killed while I was in bed. When will this end?

I went out again, and I saw a paper on a wall, I read it and found out that it was an announcement of the death of three children.

I couldn't stop my tears when I saw this. Three children were killed at once. How long will this babies' killer remain president?

I went home and I was so depressed to do anything. I crawled back in bed and didn't do a thing for the rest of the day.

Night came and the unbelievable sounds started. I could hear the missiles being launched and hitting Baba Amr every couple of seconds. I called someone in Inshaat but could barely hear his voice because the shelling sounds were way too loud there. What a horrible night by all means.

106 were killed today in Syria and about half of them were in Homs.

February 22nd, I woke up at 5:30 AM to be first in line to get bread, but as I arrived to the bakery there were more than 25 people in front of me. I will try to get up at 5 AM tomorrow knowing that the bakery won't open until 7, but I would happily go two hours earlier and avoid the crowds and the fights when some jackass comes and doesn't stand in line, especially current and ex-soldiers who have privileges everywhere in Syria.
They could come anytime, not wait in line, and then take double the amount that is allowed for civilians. On my way to the bakery, I of course heard so many explosions coming from Baba Amr and other areas in the city.
I went back home and the shelling sounds didn't stop not for one minute. I decided to go visit a neighborhood I didn't visit in a while, Khaldieh.
It's not easy to get in without being spotted by Assad forces. I saw a couple of guys there and they sneaked me in. I walked around and saw the garbage in the streets, mountains of garbage. I then went to a park called Ello and found a couple of stores opened. I then sneaked back towards the old clock square which is always filled with Assad's security forces, then towards Freedom Square and Dablan.

No stores were opened there. Even banks were closed, and a friend told me that banks only open till noon now and that I was a couple of minutes late. I went to Kurnich Street, and while I was approaching a traffic light, I saw something from a far, it was just lying on the street, a man's dead body.
I didn't get any closer. The body was near a store called Al Baik chicken. I walked across the street and went into another street to avoid being spotted by the sniper who killed him.
Just moments later, hell broke loose from that spot. I went back a tad and looked from a far and saw a couple of unarmed civilians who tried to reach the body but were interrupted by a flood of gunshots coming from god knows where. They went back and weren't harmed and the dead body stayed there. I could tell that the body was a civilian's by the clothes the man was wearing, and there were no weapons anywhere near him, so he was just an unarmed civilian passing by when a bullet got him.
I've heard this story so many times before and it makes sense. I didn't see what happened, I am just assuming.

I headed home after that, and a friend came by. He said that he was stuck in his house in Inshaat for the past 19 days.
He went out today after they let him (They is for Assad's Security forces) and he was buying supplies and decided to come see me, and since there is no cellphone network working, he had to just show up. It was good seeing him.

Right after he left, and at exactly 2 PM, the explosion sounds increased dramatically. I was watching the news at the time, where I saw the news about the death of an American and French journalist in Baba Amr. They were in a house when missiles hit that building and killed them with a couple of Syrians. Three more journalists were injured as well, and all of them were from Europe.
They came to cover the news and ended up being the news. It's really sad when we lose brave people like these. RIP my friends.

2:45 PM, Assad forces came into my neighborhood and opened fire, I'm not sure if they were aiming for anything this time as there were people in the streets. I don't know if anybody got hit. They left after 10 minutes and everything quieted down.

February 23rd, after standing an hour and a half in the freezing cold weather, I got my bread and headed home, and before I arrived there I was interrupted by three security forces vehicles.
They stopped me and asked me what I was doing and where I'm heading, then they asked for my ID which I had in my wallet, but I told them I left it at home and told them that my house isn't far and they could come see it, but they told me to go and they drove away and I haven't seen those vehicles after this.

I got home and of course the shelling sounds were coming from three different areas in Homs, but the shooting nearby didn't start until around 11 AM.

At noon, a bunch of Assad security forces attacked my neighborhood and started shooting randomly and that's when all the stores closed down and the streets turned empty.
I watched the news and they said that communications got cut off Homs, and it sounded like they only were cut today while we didn't have any type of internet connection or cellphone network for eighteen days now, and the land lines can't make or receive international calls for four days.

Around 4 PM, another attack occurred but no one was hurt as far as I saw since the streets were already empty. Standing in the freezing weather earlier got to me and I had to spend the rest of the night in bed with serious stomachache.

February 24th: 5:30 in the morning, no electricity, no water, and of course no cellphones or internet. The electricity and water are back by 9 AM, and so is the shooting.

A bunch of Assad security forces' members came with a couple of vehicles and started shooting randomly in my neighborhood for a while then they moved on to another neighborhood.
About 90 minutes before the prayer, the shooting and explosion noises increased 60% than earlier that day, and they continued till after the prayer.
Many couldn't get out of their houses and therefore there was no demo where I live, but that didn't stop the security forces from continuing their shooting all around.

4 PM, I was waiting for what will the "Friends of Syria" meeting do in Tunisia, and that's when a larger group of security forces came back to my neighborhood and started shooting like maniacs at anything they see. People ran and hid behind walls but the shooting didn't stop until 4:30 PM.

Three minutes later I saw Red Cross vehicles going fast, which means there are casualties in my neighborhood today. God help those innocent people.

4:40 PM, I had to turn the TV's volume all the way up so I can hear what they're saying because the shooting outside is so close, loud, heavy, and continuous.

8:30 PM, Assad's security forces finally left the area after killing many people. Explosion noises from afar can still be heard, Jorat Al Shaiyah and Qarabis neighborhoods were targeted now.

11 PM, news about Assad's security forces evacuating those who didn't leave their houses earlier in some streets of Inshaat at gunpoint, only to rob the houses. They brought trucks with them and stole everything in the houses. They even frisked the owners and stole what they found on them before they let them go.

February 25th, many people confirmed to me that their IDs have been taken by security forces and they were told to collect them on Sunday from security forces stations. The only logic explanation for this is that they'll force those people to vote in favor of the new constitution so it can be approved in spite of the fact that we're against it.

Red Cross couldn't go into Baba Amr like they did on the 24th and the sounds of shelling from that area are back and are increasing every hour. The house of one of my friends in Inshaat got hit by a missile, they weren't harmed but most of the house was destroyed.

They evacuated it immediately leaving everything behind. Al Amin hospital was targeted with two missiles after Red Cross brought the injured from Baba Amr there the day before, but the hospital wasn't directly hit.
The first missile hit a space near the hospital which will be joined to it soon, and the other one hit a nearby furniture store. News talked about 107 casualties all over Syria.

February 26th. This is the day of the plebiscite for the new constitution. Most people decided to stay at home so the security forces won't force them to vote to approve it, and there were no voting points anywhere in the neighborhoods I know in Homs anyway.

The sounds of shelling on Baba Amr and Inshaat started early in the morning and increased quickly. I could hear an explosion every single second at times. I called a friend from Inshaat and I heard the sounds of three or four missiles being launched at once every few seconds.
Those who are still in Inshaat are stuck again and can't go out to buy food or anything else, as for me, I went out but didn't get close to any of the Assad's security forces' barriers. I found some open stores but they didn't have any fresh vegetables, fruit, or meat. I asked around and was told that the food trucks weren't allowed to enter my neighborhood today. It's okay though, because we're used to that by now. There is a serious gas shortage in my neighborhood now as the government didn't send any since January.

Some could get gas from other neighborhoods with good prices but the rest had to pay double or even triple the new price.

Someone I know paid 1200 SP for a gas tank instead of 425 SP. As for us, we have enough gas for another month or two.

4 PM, the sounds of shelling have become unbearable. It's unreal how frequent they've become. Shelling continued into the night but my neighborhood was quiet for the rest of the day.

February 27th, I woke up to no electricity, water, and of course still no cellphones or internet. Shelling sounds from afar are still going and nearby shooting every now and then. News from some of Homs's old neighborhoods like Hamidiyeh (where my family originally comes from) is not good at all.

Hamidiyeh is as I said one of Homs's oldest neighborhoods, and has the majority of the Christian community in Homs, as it has many churches and some of them are historical, and Muslims have been living in that neighborhood next to Christians for centuries. That neighborhood was freed a while back and people were having a good and safe life, until yesterday. Assad's forces attacked it yesterday and the attack continued today in a much worse way. They've been shelling and bombing that area all morning. I got confirmed news from my relatives there that many missiles have hit random targets, like meat shops and pharmacies.

Many evacuated that area since yesterday and no one can enter some parts of it as the shooting has been going on since early morning. News about a new horrible massacre from Baba Amr, more than 60 young men were slaughtered by security forces while trying to leave the area and their families have been kidnapped, and the shelling increased later that night. Why won't February end already!